Lenny from Indy

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

Talk about the battle of who cares less.  A mediocre Ohio State team is going to play a horrible Michigan team.  Do you remember a few years back when this was the battle of the number one and two teams in the country?

If you are even remotely interested in this game you fall under one of these categories:

#1)  You had the displeasure of being recruited by one of these colleges.  You have to play.

#2) You are one of those die hard Michigan fans who brag that they are the “winningest football of programs of all time”.  You are ignoring the fact that you had a 60 year head start on 95% of the teams playing today.  You have little in life that brings you joy.  You should look into finding multiple hobbies.

#3) You are on the coaching staff.  See #1′s reason.

#4) You are a Ohio State fan.  Let’s face it, you have very little going in this mortal coil outside rooting for this below average football team.  You also know that Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS under Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.  You smell blood in the water and could care less that in 3 years time your team as well could become the national embarrassment that Michigan is right now.

#5) You are related in some way to one of the kids playing in this game.  You have to watch.

#6) You work for a media company that is forcing you to cover this game.  That sucks for you but at least you are getting paid for your attendance to this Pop Warner level football game.

#7) You are a bookie in Vegas and you had the task of trying to figure out a line that would make you the most money.

#8) You are a member of the Dead Schembechlers.  A spectacular band that takes punked up R.E.M.-ish sounding songs and writes Michigan hate songs.  Oddly enough, if you fall under this reason why you are watching this game, you are having the best time during this debacle of a game.

#9) You are a proud member of these once “beloved” schools.  You call one of these two hell holes your alma mater.  You get to spend the afternoon talking about the old days.

#10) You are Sarah Santarelli, Cheerleader for Ohio State.  I looked online and saw both squads.  Sarah is hands down the hottest cheerleader of the two squads.  She’s a senior and her major is nursing.  Sarah… Email me… lenny (at) wnde.com.  Let’s go to Steak n’ Shake for dinner!

If this game goes like we all think it should, Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.  Ohio State wins this game.

If I’m wrong, I’ll check in later.  If not, I’ll have more stuff up tomorrow.

Someone wasn’t paying attention?

No!  You are doing it wrong.

Here is the Hinds Community College cheerleading squad.

I am in love with everyone in this picture. Even the freaky looking bird in the middle.  I would do CRAZY THINGS TO THAT BIRD!  Feathers, I say!  That’s all that would be left!   FEATHERS!  Wait… what?

Ouch!

Your Indianapolis Colts offense was on the field last night for fourteen minutes and fifty three seconds.

14:53.

That’s it.  That’s not a lot of time to put up points and huge stats.  Peyton Manning made the best of the little time he played.  14 passes for 303 yards.  The Colts put up 27 points.

So now you might be asking yourself, “Self.  What did the other team do with the 45:07?”

That other team was the Miami Dolphins.  Last year big success story.  They had a turnaround like you have never seen in football.  1-15 in 2007 to 11-5 in 2008.  They introduced “the wildcat” offense which has turned teams into mush.  So its pretty obvious that you would think the Dolphins with forty five minutes and seven seconds, would man handle our beloved Colts.

Now remember the Dolphins had possession of the ball for 45:07.  45:07!  That amount of time for possession only seems like it can be achieved in a Madden video game.

Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington threw 22 passes for 183 yards.  They put up 23 points.  That’s it… 23 points.

It only took 15 minutes for Peyton and company to dispose of the Dolphins, 27-23.

Is anyone else feeling the full force of the FAIL on the part of the Miami Dolphins?  The Dolphins have to be feeling a lot of shame today.  They couldn’t close the game.  FAIL!

The winning touchdown was scored by none other than Pierre Garcon.  He was the 39th pick in the sixth round of the 2008 draft.  Here is info on Pierre.  Please don’t front and pretend you knew who this guy was last night.  I had no clue who he was and you didn’t either.  I’m pretty sure the Dolphins has no idea who this guy is and how he was on the field with a Colts uniform.

Epic win for the much maligned Colts defense.  Over 80 plays on the field and made the stops when they had to last night.  The Colts are not the high scoring offense they were 2 years ago.  But, I’m digging the in the trenches street brawls the defense has been in for the last two weeks.

Bad news first for Colts fans.  The team is 2-0 by beating lesser teams like the Jaguars and the Dolphins.  They haven’t been truly tested as a team at this point in 2009 season. The first big test of who and what the Colts are as a team happens Sunday night as they travel to the hot desert of Arizona to take on the Super Bowl 43 losers, the Cardinals.

The good news is that the Colts are 2-0.

Courage.

SIDEBAR

Check out this picture of a Miami Dolphins cheerleader…

This woman has a fake tan.  She lives in Florida.  Why is she not soaking up the suns rays for a tan?  I’m pretty sure this is a fake tan because she is orange.  Tanning in the sun does not turn you orange.  Something from a bottle that you buy in a store turns you orange.  Tan Fail!

Let’s celebrate with pictures of cheerleaders! We travel to the University of Missouri and see that they have fantastic cheerleaders. Kudos!

and a bonus cheerleader. I call her “Angry Cheerleader”.

Enjoy today’s games.

No!  You are doing it wrong.  Put some pants on please.

Finally someone at USC is injured!  they aren’t all made of steel!

Between 6am and 7am the following happened.

I tried to look up this girls dress.

Between 7am and 8am the following happened.

I pretended I was this guy.

Let’s all move to Oregon!

Let’s hear it for the holiday weekend!

Hip hip..

hooray.

C’mon…it’s Labor Day weekend. Let’s get loud!

HIP HIP!!!

Hooray!

I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!!

HIP HIP!!!

HOOORRRRAAAAYYY!  Who is this person I think I love her?

That’s the spirit… AGAIN!

HIP HIP!!!!!

HHHHHHOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow… that was kind of stellar. Let’s do it one more time since I have one more leg kick cheerleaders picture.

HIP HIP!!!!

HHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Happy Labor Day!