Lenny from Indy

On January 7, 2009, the Cleveland Browns hired former New York Jets coach Eric Mangini to be the head coach and pull this desolate team that is in the same division as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens out of a six foot pit they placed themselves in around 1999 when they drafted Tim Couch as quarterback.

Understand this Browns fans, this guy is not a miracle worker.  I compare him to Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies.  Before he became “Lord Vader”, Eric Mangini was Anakin Skywalker.  Anakin was a fun loving guy with potential that was off the scale.  His Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi knight that was going to teach him the ways of the Force (coaching) was a guy name Bill Belichick.  Now Bill we know is a bit of a curmudgeon himself, but his talent level is pretty undeniable.  Bill was teaching Eric the ways of the force and Eric was seduced by the dark side of the Force.  In this case we’ll call the dark side the New York Jets.  This was a mismatch from the start.  The Jets wanted different results from a guy whose name wasn’t Herm Edwards, former Jets coach.  Enter Mangini who essentially was in the right place at the right time with the stars and planets aligned.  The Patriots coaching staff were red hot due to the Patriots Super Bowl Run earlier in the last decade.  We’ve seen guys like Romeo Crennel (who Mangini replaced in Cleveland), Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniels all get poached away from masshole land (The greater New England area) to various coaching jobs in the NFL and college football with to this point failure as the final result.

Back on topic… Eric had a great first year with the Jets with Herm’s roster and playbook and guided the Jets to a wild card playoff loss in 2006.  Then he had time to embrace the dark side of the force, tinker, ruin, and destroy the Jets in his own special way.  They went 4-12 and 9-7.  No playoffs.  Eric was fired.

What’s crazy here is that 9 days after his firing, the Cleveland Browns hire him after they fired former Bill Belichick coach Romeo Crennel.

Are the Browns organization stupid?  Wait don’t answer that… there’s more to the story.

Eric entered this job with a much different atittude than he did when the Jets hired him.  He ran off what little talent they had and scorched the earth in Cleveland.  The simple people of Cleveland freaked.  Mainly because Lebron James can’t play two pro sports, but I digress… Eric did get one thing right.  He inherited a team that has had I believe one winning season since they re-entered the NFL in 1999.  This team is already buried 6 feet under with bad attitudes and the few people who are considered “top talent” on this team more than likely believe when they poo there is no way it can stink next to some of the open mouth breathers that they have as teammates.  Eric cleaned house, kept the ones who believed in the “we” and not the “I” and started over.  During his first draft, Eric kept trading down picks and stocked up on defensive players.  Interesting move to make when the draft wasn’t considered deep with skill players.

End result.  Major suckage.  They won one of their first twelve games.  Not fun for Browns fans.  More of the same they said out loud and then wore dog masks, as only morons do.

In fact two guys, season ticket holders demanded a meeting with the owner of the Browns to see what he was going to do to fix the situation.  Mind you, a situation that has been going on since 1999 but hey, Mangini is the face of the team so lets throw him under the bus for 9 years of failure before he even took the gig.  Sad part is that Cleveland Browns Owner Randy Lerner took the meeting and took it seriously.  What should of happened is a public flogging of these dumbells.  Meeting… Could you Imagine what this conversation could have been like??????????????

Moron season ticket holder #1:  Why can’t we be like the Steelers?

Randy Lerner:  Don’t you smell sadness?  That means we live in Cleveland son…

Moron season ticket holder #2:  I wear this dog mask all week long.

Randy Lerner:  Feet smell nice after washing with raspberry soap.

Moron season ticket holder #1:  I want the Browns to win the Super Bowl.

Randy Lerner:  One day we will.

Moron season ticket holder #2: When?

Randy Lerner:  When we blow up Pittsburgh son.  Thanks for your donation.  I own a NFL franchise.

Maybe it went like that and maybe it didn’t go like that.  I wasn’t there but that is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  Cleveland sucks.

People of Cleveland.  Randy has better things to do with his time that to hear your whining.

Back to Eric Mangini… He had done something that no other coach for Cleveland as done since re-entering the league in 1999.  They went on a 4 game win streak to close out the season.  They ended up 5- 11.  So a glimmer of hope in an otherwise forgettable season.  A four game win streak  First one in 10 years.  F U Browns fans.

So Anakin Skywalker (Mangini) needs his Emperor to begin his reign of terror.

ENTER THE WALRUS!

Former Green Bay Packers Super Bowl winning coach / Former Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl losing coach Mike Holmgren was hired to be the President and was given authority over the team’s football operations. This hire was made after Browns owner Randy Lerner announced that he wished to bring in a “serious, credible leader” to steer the team in the right direction. After public speculation (morons in Cleveland and the drizzle knobs in the media outright lying to themselves by fabricating that Holmgren and Mangini would not be able to co-exist, Holmgren stuck his Presidential foot in the ass of every citizen of Cleveland by announcing that Mangini stay and the entire coaching staff stays for the 2010 season.  Suck it dill weeds!  Then, Holmgren hired former Philadelphia Eagles general manager Tom Heckert to become the new general manager for the Browns.  That moved probably screwed Philadelphia long term but who cares, it’s Philadelphia.

On to the present day… I get the feeling that Cleveland is going to have to lean on Mangini’s past moves and hope players develop like he thinks they will.  Going into this season, the Browns have Brady Quinn, Brett Ratliff, and Seneca Wallace as quarterbacks.  If you fuse these guys together you more than likely won’t equal Jason Campbell of the Washington Redskins.  That’s a huge issue.

You have Joshua Cribs at wide receiver, Joe Thomas at tackle, maybe a defense Mangini put together last  season that look like it jelled at the end of the season.  You need help pretty much everywhere.  Consider this a rebuilding season.  At best… 6 wins… Maybe 7.

If the Cleveland Browns were a girl, she would look like this…

We’re just never going to know if they are hot…

2010… Yeah!  Back from vacation!

Didn’t do much… some work around the house… Christmas… New Years… blah blah blah…

Here’s what I did while I was gone…

Watched Colts football… Resting the starters… Here are the starting Colts on the sideline passing time…

Great asses on those starting Colts!

I thought about Neve Campbell.  Where has she been and can she call me?

I dig her scene. Neve, call me!

I kept up on the Tiger deal but really this is the best picture of any of the women to come out of it… The girl with the weird last name.  Forgive me for not burning it into memory…. However… This picture has been burned into the memory bank…

Wow… nice.. kudos Tiger!

Hot and wonderfully weirdo actress Juliette Lewis has a great album called Terra Incognita.  It’s fantastic.  She got together with some of the freaks in the Mars Volta and made a must listen album in a era where we have very few must listen albums.  Plus, she’s hot as well…

ridiculous!

Crazy talented and she can sing?  I will follow her to the ends of time, if I had more energy.  In the meantime, I’ll continue to stalk online.

Watched lots of football both college and pro.  I realized that mascots have a pretty decent job.

I mean… That’s a nice view people… let’s not front on the Titans cheerleaders.

Oh and on cable TV… late at night, I found her…

so yeah… vacation was relaxing….

Wild card weekend coming up!  Go the teams I want to see win!  More on that later…. maybe…

Florida football coaching legend Urban Meyer has changed his mind and decided not to resign but will take an indefinite leave of absence, which leaves open the door for his possible return to the Gators.  This means he’ll have some say on what goes on next year.  More than likely he will be a consultant for the Gators.  Then he decides if he wants to come back next season.

What does this mean?  In this scenario, Florida has a .500 season.  Still no bowl game.

The Gator Nation is not happy with this outlook either.

You either play the game 100% or you find a new coach.  If he can’t coach due to his health, you find a new coach.

Due to health related issues,  Urban Meyer stepped down as the head coach of Florida.  While not life threatening, he will be 100% healthy to replace Big Balls Rod in  Michigan in about a years time.

What’s up next season for your Florida Gators?  About 3 wins.

Developing…

It’s a sight that we are not used to seeing.  Tim Tebow’s and Florida taking a lost last night to Alabama.  Tebow cried on the sidelines and was teary eyed in his post game interview.

There was more passion, heart, and fire in that 47 second clip than has been displayed by the following teams in the NFL this season.

1.  Cleveland Browns

2. St Louis Rams

3. Buffalo Bills

4. Oakland Raiders

5. Kansas City Chiefs

6. Washington Redskins

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Between Tim, Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford and the wild card quarterback I’ll throw in to next years NFL draft, is that kid out of Central Michigan Dan LeFevour.  The next decades quarterbacks stand upon the doorway of greatness.

There is no reason why this picture of the Florida Gators cheerleaders needed to be here.  But, you don’t care.

Let the draft madness begin…

Talk about the battle of who cares less.  A mediocre Ohio State team is going to play a horrible Michigan team.  Do you remember a few years back when this was the battle of the number one and two teams in the country?

If you are even remotely interested in this game you fall under one of these categories:

#1)  You had the displeasure of being recruited by one of these colleges.  You have to play.

#2) You are one of those die hard Michigan fans who brag that they are the “winningest football of programs of all time”.  You are ignoring the fact that you had a 60 year head start on 95% of the teams playing today.  You have little in life that brings you joy.  You should look into finding multiple hobbies.

#3) You are on the coaching staff.  See #1’s reason.

#4) You are a Ohio State fan.  Let’s face it, you have very little going in this mortal coil outside rooting for this below average football team.  You also know that Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS under Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.  You smell blood in the water and could care less that in 3 years time your team as well could become the national embarrassment that Michigan is right now.

#5) You are related in some way to one of the kids playing in this game.  You have to watch.

#6) You work for a media company that is forcing you to cover this game.  That sucks for you but at least you are getting paid for your attendance to this Pop Warner level football game.

#7) You are a bookie in Vegas and you had the task of trying to figure out a line that would make you the most money.

#8) You are a member of the Dead Schembechlers.  A spectacular band that takes punked up R.E.M.-ish sounding songs and writes Michigan hate songs.  Oddly enough, if you fall under this reason why you are watching this game, you are having the best time during this debacle of a game.

#9) You are a proud member of these once “beloved” schools.  You call one of these two hell holes your alma mater.  You get to spend the afternoon talking about the old days.

#10) You are Sarah Santarelli, Cheerleader for Ohio State.  I looked online and saw both squads.  Sarah is hands down the hottest cheerleader of the two squads.  She’s a senior and her major is nursing.  Sarah… Email me… lenny (at) wnde.com.  Let’s go to Steak n’ Shake for dinner!

If this game goes like we all think it should, Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.  Ohio State wins this game.

If I’m wrong, I’ll check in later.  If not, I’ll have more stuff up tomorrow.

No one likes Michigan fans at any age.

Tee hee hee!

Enjoy today’s college football games!

Congrats to the Northwestern Wildcats for handing the mighty Iowa Hawkeyes a loss today. It was the Hawkeyes first loss of the season. I’m sure Dallas Clark and Bob Sanders are sad that the team that they played for took a loss to the scrappy Wildcats today.

This news is easier to take today because Purdue beat Michigan in Michigan’s stadium, the Big House. Funny part is at one point in the game Michigan had a 24-10 lead. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!! Kudos Purdue!!!

Urban Meyer suspended Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes for one half for eye gouging Georgia running back Washaun Ealey on Saturday.  You read right.  One half of football.  30 minutes of game time.

Here is proof of Brandon’s eye gouging.

No doubt Urban is one of the best coaches in college football.  A strong argument can be made that he is better than at least half of the clowns who pose as coaches in the NFL.  How do you let Brandon Spikes off so easy?  Could this be the weakest move ever by Urban Meyer?  I say yes.  This is ultra-mega weak.  This “suspension” seems like he didn’t want to suspend the guy because maybe he is one of the better players on the team.

Weak, Coach Meyer.  Weak.

Links discussing Urban’s weak disciplinary skills

Yahoo.com – Dan Wetzel

Google.com – AP Story

ESPN – SEC Blog

USA Today

Palm Beach Post

Sporting News

Newsday

Bleacher Report

Dear Michigan Wolverines nation,

This does not seem like rebuilding when you lose to Illinois 38-13.  I’m pretty sure at this point you jack offs wished that that Les Miles rumor a few years ago was true.  You know, the one where he was going to be your coach.  But, allegedly he was stiff armed by Lloyd Carr.

***On a side note, everyone when they get a chance, check out any Michigan Wolverines message board.  Everyone is an expert and has someone they know who is in on what happens in the inner circle of the team.  It’s comedy gold!***

Instead you open mouth breathing morons have, Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.

Today was the worst loss of the last 40 years.  I’m saying a lot with that statement.  The Wolverines have been schooled by Ohio State many, many, many, many times.  Pick any one of those losses and you do not come within a country mile of what happened today.

This has completely surpassed App State level of loss.

This most definitely has to sting.

Can you win another game this season?  Maybe…. but, we’ve seen the teams coaching… Maybe not…

Cheers,

Lenny

So I predicted some games yesterday.  Let’s see how I did…. yesterday’s predictions are in the red text.

Upset of the week… Oklahoma beats Texas. – WRONG!  I BOTCHED THIS ONE BIG TIME.  MY BAD!

The obvious… Ohio State kills Purdue and I die a little on the inside. - WRONG!  I’M HAPPY I GOT THIS ONE WRONG.  IT HURT ME TO PREDICT THIS GAME THE WAY I DID.  F U OHIO STATE!  MY APOLOGIES TO THE GREAT PURDUE TEAM!

Expected… USC beats up on Notre Dame and the Catholic in me gets angry. – CORRECT!  SURE THE CATHOLIC IN ME WAS A TAD ANGRY BUT USC WON!  EPIC WIN!

More Expected… Florida rolls over Arkansas.  Tim Tebow after the game proclaims, “I don’t want to get drafted by Buffalo in the 2010 NFL Draft!  Can someone suck more than them this season please?” – CORRECT!  WELL I WOULDN’T SAY THEY ROLLED OVER ARKANSAS BUT THE TEBOW MACHINE KEEPS ON ROLLING.

2-2 for the day.  Meh.

The greatest day of the week is Saturday because God smiles down on the earth and says, “Enjoy college football.”  So let’s make some picks!

Upset of the week… Oklahoma beats Texas.

The obvious… Ohio State kills Purdue and I die a little on the inside.

Expected… USC beats up on Notre Dame and the Catholic in me gets angry.

More Expected… Florida rolls over Arkansas.  Tim Tebow after the game proclaims, “I don’t want to get drafted by Buffalo in the 2010 NFL Draft!  Can someone suck more than them this season please?”

Enjoy the day…  here are some cheerleaders staying limber during a game….

Go Hawkeyes!!!!!!!!

Michigan sports has been in a lull over the last two years.  It doesn’t matter the sport or the team.  It seems all of them have experienced kicks in the ding ding for a while.  However, let’s us today focus on a great inner Michigan rivalry that played out yesterday, Michigan vs. Michigan State.

For the second year in a row the Spartan Nation has been blessed with a Michigan State Spartans victory over “winningest program of all time, the douche bags of the average Michigan Wolverines.

The last time two Spartan victories happened was in 1967.  Damn, that’s a long time ago.  The number one song in the nation that week was Box Tops “The Letter”.   The Beatles were still a active band.  They had three number one songs that year (“Penny Lane”, “All You Need is Love” and “Hello, Goodbye”).

Michigan State was ahead with less than a minute to go when Wolverines red shirt freshman Tate Forcier put together a masterful drive which ended with a 9 yard pass to Roy Roundtree which threw the game into overtime.

Tate was on track to be the hero for the average Wolverines.

Michigan won the toss and they had the ball!  Things were looking up for the much embattled Rich Rodriguez coached Wolverines until…….. Tate threw a costly interception.

How costly?

Two plays later Michigan State running back Larry Caper peels off a 24 yard run for a touchdown.

Tate now is the goat.

Michigan State 26 – Michigan 20.  The Wolverines swallow defeat and sadness once again.

Now don’t you fret none too much about Tate Forcier.  Tate has a bright future as quarterback for the Wolverines.  He’ll be able to evolve as Rodriguez rebuilds the Wolverines team over the next few years.

Michigan State Spartans with a much needed win to turn the season around stand at a teetering on the brink of no bowl game invite 2-3.   As for the Michigan Wolverines, they stand before you after this game as a very weak 4-1 football team.

Neither team has what it takes to do anything truly great this season.  Michigan swallows failure for another year in college football.