Lenny from Indy

Major league baseball has become a lame, tame, boring, who cares sport.  The National Hockey League laughs loudly at Major League Baseball.  About the only thing that is remotely interesting is when you have these “fights” that erupt all too infrequently.

Let me set the scene for you…  The Washington Nationals were taking another ass beating, this time courtesy of the Florida Marlins.  Chris Volstad, who hit Nyjer Morgan with the pitch last night throws the ball behind him in this clip.  Nyjer obviously not happy with the blatant disrespect that just happened, charges the mound and hilarity ensues.

Check the sadness here…

That was one punch and a lot of grab ass.  Much like the sport of baseball, I rank this fight LAME!

I have a simple equation that Baseball should follow.

Home Runs = People care.  Home runs = The only reason people talk about baseball.

No one cares for pitcher domination.  Which by the way is what happens in this sports when you do not allow player to JUICE UP ON STEROIDS AND HGH TO HIT NOTHING BUT HOME RUNS!

These fights are more fodder to show that this sport as the joke that it has become.  Major League Baseball is most definitely on the decline.  The 1/3 full stadium that watched this “classic baseball fight” couldn’t even muster up loud booing.  Pathetic.  Everyone in the stands should be ashamed of themselves.

Hey Baseball… Here’s what a sports fight really looks like…

Look at these animals in Philly… This is what kicking ass looks like.  Normally I despise Philadelphia.  The city’s sports teams, its people, its location on the map of the United States but, here they are beating Canadian ass.  That trumps any hatred I have for the slow moving, open mouth breathing dolts of Philadelphia.  THIS IS WIN WIN WIN!

F U Baseball… F U for all that you have become.

RECOGNIZE!!!

Look… if I had to play a rock show in Cincinnati, I too as well would give my voice the night off and lip sync as well.  However, you make the call music fans.  Can the singer of the rock band Stone Temple Pilots fall off of a stage, in the middle of singing and still keep the same pitch and key?

My vote leans towards lip syncing.

JaMarcus’ contact with the Raiders was for $39 million for three years of work in Oakland. He’s already been paid $36 million of that, and the Raiders still owe him $3 million more.

Breaking these immense number down that means JaMarcus was paid roughly $100,000 per completion and  $5.6 million per win.

Failure never paid so well.

The Chosen One goes to Denver.  That crazy Coach McDaniel and those crazed maniacs in Denver have locked up at least two Super Bowls in the next 10 years.

Now… I find from the great Adam Schefter that the Buffalo Bills were trying to trade up to get to Tebow.  You had your chance to pick him.

I’ve been saying this to the Bills on this blog for a while… DO NOT SLEEP ON TEBOW!

Link 1 where I say Buffalo should draft Tebow.  Bills listed number 3 on the list.

Link 2 where I say Buffalo should draft Tebow.  Bills listed at number 1 on the list.

Link 3 where I say Buffalo should draft Tebow. August – 27 – 2009 – Bills listed at number 4.  Look who I had at number 1.

YOU CALL ME NOSTRADAMUS FROM NOW ON!!!!!!!!!

I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE WITH ALL OF THE CHANGE THE BILLS HAVE UNDERGONE IN THE FRONT OFFICE THAT FAILURE STILL SEEMS TO BE THE HIGH WATERMARK IN WHICH THEY REACH FOR AS AN ORGANIZATION!

The league undergoes a youth movement amongst coaches, the Bills hire a guy who is 5 years from retirement age.

The league has for the first time in a long time, general managers in the league are bright forward thinkers who are thinking about building a solid futures.  The Bills hired the guy that “built” the San Diego Chargers.  You know the team out west that basically fails every year.

Buffalo fans, it is time to come to a very real reality.  There might be a good possibility that the Bills organization hates you as people.  This goes beyond punishing fans.  This is the equivalent of taking you out individually into the street and pistol whipping you until you cry.

I reckon this is karma for how the Bills treated Bill Pollian after he built up a great franchise for the city.

Swallow sadness Buffalo, your misery continues.

YOU MISSED THE CHOSEN ONE!  HOW STUPID OF YOU?

One more hint Buffalo… Don’t sleep on this one.  Draft Dan LeFevour.

Don’t…

be…

dumb…

all…

the…

time…

New coaching, new playbook, new systems, unsettled at quarterback, below average defense, not many offensive weapons.  No wonder why you had a bad year last year. 3-13.  Nothing positive happened.  Next season will be just as rough.

Here is the best way to show what last season was like watching the Buccaneers play football.

Not pretty and the gawking is just too much to take… The team is still reeling from losing Tony Dungy…Don’t bring up Gruden.  He won a Super Bowl using Dungy’s playbook.  That dude is waaaaaaayyyy over rated.

If the Buccaneers were a woman… here is what she would look like…

On January 7, 2009, the Cleveland Browns hired former New York Jets coach Eric Mangini to be the head coach and pull this desolate team that is in the same division as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens out of a six foot pit they placed themselves in around 1999 when they drafted Tim Couch as quarterback.

Understand this Browns fans, this guy is not a miracle worker.  I compare him to Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies.  Before he became “Lord Vader”, Eric Mangini was Anakin Skywalker.  Anakin was a fun loving guy with potential that was off the scale.  His Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi knight that was going to teach him the ways of the Force (coaching) was a guy name Bill Belichick.  Now Bill we know is a bit of a curmudgeon himself, but his talent level is pretty undeniable.  Bill was teaching Eric the ways of the force and Eric was seduced by the dark side of the Force.  In this case we’ll call the dark side the New York Jets.  This was a mismatch from the start.  The Jets wanted different results from a guy whose name wasn’t Herm Edwards, former Jets coach.  Enter Mangini who essentially was in the right place at the right time with the stars and planets aligned.  The Patriots coaching staff were red hot due to the Patriots Super Bowl Run earlier in the last decade.  We’ve seen guys like Romeo Crennel (who Mangini replaced in Cleveland), Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniels all get poached away from masshole land (The greater New England area) to various coaching jobs in the NFL and college football with to this point failure as the final result.

Back on topic… Eric had a great first year with the Jets with Herm’s roster and playbook and guided the Jets to a wild card playoff loss in 2006.  Then he had time to embrace the dark side of the force, tinker, ruin, and destroy the Jets in his own special way.  They went 4-12 and 9-7.  No playoffs.  Eric was fired.

What’s crazy here is that 9 days after his firing, the Cleveland Browns hire him after they fired former Bill Belichick coach Romeo Crennel.

Are the Browns organization stupid?  Wait don’t answer that… there’s more to the story.

Eric entered this job with a much different atittude than he did when the Jets hired him.  He ran off what little talent they had and scorched the earth in Cleveland.  The simple people of Cleveland freaked.  Mainly because Lebron James can’t play two pro sports, but I digress… Eric did get one thing right.  He inherited a team that has had I believe one winning season since they re-entered the NFL in 1999.  This team is already buried 6 feet under with bad attitudes and the few people who are considered “top talent” on this team more than likely believe when they poo there is no way it can stink next to some of the open mouth breathers that they have as teammates.  Eric cleaned house, kept the ones who believed in the “we” and not the “I” and started over.  During his first draft, Eric kept trading down picks and stocked up on defensive players.  Interesting move to make when the draft wasn’t considered deep with skill players.

End result.  Major suckage.  They won one of their first twelve games.  Not fun for Browns fans.  More of the same they said out loud and then wore dog masks, as only morons do.

In fact two guys, season ticket holders demanded a meeting with the owner of the Browns to see what he was going to do to fix the situation.  Mind you, a situation that has been going on since 1999 but hey, Mangini is the face of the team so lets throw him under the bus for 9 years of failure before he even took the gig.  Sad part is that Cleveland Browns Owner Randy Lerner took the meeting and took it seriously.  What should of happened is a public flogging of these dumbells.  Meeting… Could you Imagine what this conversation could have been like??????????????

Moron season ticket holder #1:  Why can’t we be like the Steelers?

Randy Lerner:  Don’t you smell sadness?  That means we live in Cleveland son…

Moron season ticket holder #2:  I wear this dog mask all week long.

Randy Lerner:  Feet smell nice after washing with raspberry soap.

Moron season ticket holder #1:  I want the Browns to win the Super Bowl.

Randy Lerner:  One day we will.

Moron season ticket holder #2: When?

Randy Lerner:  When we blow up Pittsburgh son.  Thanks for your donation.  I own a NFL franchise.

Maybe it went like that and maybe it didn’t go like that.  I wasn’t there but that is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  Cleveland sucks.

People of Cleveland.  Randy has better things to do with his time that to hear your whining.

Back to Eric Mangini… He had done something that no other coach for Cleveland as done since re-entering the league in 1999.  They went on a 4 game win streak to close out the season.  They ended up 5- 11.  So a glimmer of hope in an otherwise forgettable season.  A four game win streak  First one in 10 years.  F U Browns fans.

So Anakin Skywalker (Mangini) needs his Emperor to begin his reign of terror.

ENTER THE WALRUS!

Former Green Bay Packers Super Bowl winning coach / Former Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl losing coach Mike Holmgren was hired to be the President and was given authority over the team’s football operations. This hire was made after Browns owner Randy Lerner announced that he wished to bring in a “serious, credible leader” to steer the team in the right direction. After public speculation (morons in Cleveland and the drizzle knobs in the media outright lying to themselves by fabricating that Holmgren and Mangini would not be able to co-exist, Holmgren stuck his Presidential foot in the ass of every citizen of Cleveland by announcing that Mangini stay and the entire coaching staff stays for the 2010 season.  Suck it dill weeds!  Then, Holmgren hired former Philadelphia Eagles general manager Tom Heckert to become the new general manager for the Browns.  That moved probably screwed Philadelphia long term but who cares, it’s Philadelphia.

On to the present day… I get the feeling that Cleveland is going to have to lean on Mangini’s past moves and hope players develop like he thinks they will.  Going into this season, the Browns have Brady Quinn, Brett Ratliff, and Seneca Wallace as quarterbacks.  If you fuse these guys together you more than likely won’t equal Jason Campbell of the Washington Redskins.  That’s a huge issue.

You have Joshua Cribs at wide receiver, Joe Thomas at tackle, maybe a defense Mangini put together last  season that look like it jelled at the end of the season.  You need help pretty much everywhere.  Consider this a rebuilding season.  At best… 6 wins… Maybe 7.

If the Cleveland Browns were a girl, she would look like this…

We’re just never going to know if they are hot…

ATTN:  Chicago Bears

YOU F-ING MORONS!

So you start off last season with a great QB pickup…

In case you forgot, his name is Jay Cutler.  Last I checked, he’s a pretty good quarterback.  Laser rocket arm and all…  I do get the feeling he can be prima donna-ish/whiny bitch-ish but never-the-less, this is a franchise quarterback.  You jerk offs who run the Bears make the deal to get this good quarterback but forget to give him A OFFENSIVE LINE TO PROTECT HIM! AND, NO RECEIVERS!!!

So you had a bad season due to some minor over sights in personnel, Jay ran for his life, tried to make things happen.  He ended up trying to force things and threw a career high level of interceptions.  The aging defense lost a few key pieces to injury and you get a terrible season put in by your Chicago Bears.

Free agency time hits and who will the Bears sign to improve this lopsided, great quarterback but no offensive weapons?

DEFENSIVE PLAYERS!!!!!!

Really?  What are you guys trying to do, build another Super Bowl losing team?  Don’t answer that, we know the answer.  Free agency is essentially the draft for the Bears because all the draft picks went to Denver for Jay Cutler.  This is a sickening thought thinking that Hester, Knox, and Aromashodu is going to be top level receivers for the Bears.  I really have no issue with Aromashodu but you can double him, leave Knox open and feel confident that you can shut down the Bears passing game.  Greg Olsen is a pretty good tight end but the Bears have confused the issue with bringing in Brandon Manumaleuna.  He’s fine but a pointless pickup when you already had Greg Olsen.  Chester Taylor was a nifty pickup at the running back position.  The combo of him and Matt Forte would be good, if only they had a strong offensive line and the threat of a bad ass passing game.

Last season was terrible.  The off-season has been confusing.  Lovie Smith is not going to be able to make these pieces work.  If the Bears were a chick, this is what she would look like…

It’s just a ugly mess.

You have endued pain Chicago Bears fans.  More pain is is on the way.  Because, there is no hope.

Additional pain… Here’s a guy from the south side of Chicago who has no chance of a Super Bowl ring either.

Prince recorded a Minnesota Vikings fight song.  Being a fan of the Purple One, I am able to state that this is not his best work.  I’m usually good at finding this stuff.  I’m not sure how I missed this one before last Sunday’s Vikings/Saints game.  I must be in the presence of a Sith Lord.  A dark cloud has enveloped the Jedi Order.  I’m going to have get with the other Jedi’s and figure this out right quick.

Back to the mighty fricken awesome Prince.  No really… He did record a Vikings fight song… Take a listen…

here’s the lyrics:

the veil of the sky draws open
the roar of the chariots touch down
we r the ones who have now come again
and walk upon water like solid ground
as we approach the throne we won’t bow down
this time we won’t b denied

raise every voice and let it b known
in the name of the purple and gold

we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold

the eyes say ready 4 battle
no need 4 sword in hand
we r all amped up like a rock n roll band
ready 2 celebrate every score
ready 2 fight the elegant war
ready 2 hear the crowd roar

that’s what we came 4
and so much more
in the name of the purple and gold

r spirits may b tired
r bodies may b worn
but since this day is r destiny
r history that’s y we must b
4ever strong as the wind that blows the Vikings’ horn
in the name of the purple and gold

we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold

We need to sit Prince down and tell him what a good fight song is all about.  WE COME IN THE NAME OF THE PURPLE AND GOLD!  What was he thinking?  Anything off of Around The World In A Day with new lyrics would have trumped this masterwork.

BONUS AWESOME:  Here’s Prince live… He is one bad ass mother live.  RECOGNIZE!!!

…is the new Dan Fouts!

A great QB with amazing abilities, lots of weapons, and absolutely no shot at raising the Lombardi trophy.

We welcome Philip Rivers, the latest inductee into Club Ringless!!!

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

It’s a sight that we are not used to seeing.  Tim Tebow’s and Florida taking a lost last night to Alabama.  Tebow cried on the sidelines and was teary eyed in his post game interview.

There was more passion, heart, and fire in that 47 second clip than has been displayed by the following teams in the NFL this season.

1.  Cleveland Browns

2. St Louis Rams

3. Buffalo Bills

4. Oakland Raiders

5. Kansas City Chiefs

6. Washington Redskins

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Between Tim, Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford and the wild card quarterback I’ll throw in to next years NFL draft, is that kid out of Central Michigan Dan LeFevour.  The next decades quarterbacks stand upon the doorway of greatness.

There is no reason why this picture of the Florida Gators cheerleaders needed to be here.  But, you don’t care.

Let the draft madness begin…

I made it easy for the Cleveland Browns to start prepairing for 2010. Most of this would classify as common sense, but as you can see by the last 10 years of the Browns franchise, that’s in short supply.

1. Find new General Manager. You are already aware of this one. Find a football guy and not a puppet or bean counter. Get someone aggressive. Really important that you don’t screw this one up right out of the gate.

2. Let the new General Manager hire a new coach. Both General Manager and Coach will have major say in who gets drafted and signed to the team. Remember, they are going to rebuild your mess. By the way, whose idea was it to hire Eric Mangini 9 days after he was fired? Did anyone notice his terrible track record in New York?

3. Find a veteran Quarterback to start the 2010 season. What you currently have on the team are some of the worst quarterbacks in the league.

4. Find a vetran backup quarterback to back up your starting quarterback. You’ll need this guy in case your starter goes down with an injury.

5. Draft Sam Bradford first in the 2010 draft. He will be your number 3 quarterback. He will not start in 2010. He will practice with the team, study, watch lots of film and learn. If all of that goes well, Sam will start for you in 2011.

6. Rebuild your reciever core. The soon to be former coach sent all of the good recievers away to other teams.

7. Using free agency, reset the offensive line. The current one is terrible. You’ll need to draft some guys in later rounds because the picks that you have in the early rounds are needed for skill players.

8. I actually think your defense is in good hands with Coach Ryan. What you need to do here is find big players to implement Coach Ryan’s aggressive play book. Use the new general manger to find them.

9. Change your uniform and come up with a logo. It’s been too long with this drab butt ugly uniform. Brown stands for feeling the Steelers fist in your hind quarters twice a year. Brown stands for high draft picks that never achieve. Brown stands for losing. Change the culture at its core with a new look.

This stuff shouldn’t be too hard to do if you are hell bent on having a competitive franchise.

Good luck and godspeed in your endevor to rebuild one of the NFL’s worst franchises.

Talk about the battle of who cares less.  A mediocre Ohio State team is going to play a horrible Michigan team.  Do you remember a few years back when this was the battle of the number one and two teams in the country?

If you are even remotely interested in this game you fall under one of these categories:

#1)  You had the displeasure of being recruited by one of these colleges.  You have to play.

#2) You are one of those die hard Michigan fans who brag that they are the “winningest football of programs of all time”.  You are ignoring the fact that you had a 60 year head start on 95% of the teams playing today.  You have little in life that brings you joy.  You should look into finding multiple hobbies.

#3) You are on the coaching staff.  See #1′s reason.

#4) You are a Ohio State fan.  Let’s face it, you have very little going in this mortal coil outside rooting for this below average football team.  You also know that Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS under Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.  You smell blood in the water and could care less that in 3 years time your team as well could become the national embarrassment that Michigan is right now.

#5) You are related in some way to one of the kids playing in this game.  You have to watch.

#6) You work for a media company that is forcing you to cover this game.  That sucks for you but at least you are getting paid for your attendance to this Pop Warner level football game.

#7) You are a bookie in Vegas and you had the task of trying to figure out a line that would make you the most money.

#8) You are a member of the Dead Schembechlers.  A spectacular band that takes punked up R.E.M.-ish sounding songs and writes Michigan hate songs.  Oddly enough, if you fall under this reason why you are watching this game, you are having the best time during this debacle of a game.

#9) You are a proud member of these once “beloved” schools.  You call one of these two hell holes your alma mater.  You get to spend the afternoon talking about the old days.

#10) You are Sarah Santarelli, Cheerleader for Ohio State.  I looked online and saw both squads.  Sarah is hands down the hottest cheerleader of the two squads.  She’s a senior and her major is nursing.  Sarah… Email me… lenny (at) wnde.com.  Let’s go to Steak n’ Shake for dinner!

If this game goes like we all think it should, Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.  Ohio State wins this game.

If I’m wrong, I’ll check in later.  If not, I’ll have more stuff up tomorrow.

Make no mistake, you never want to be in the position of this camera man who gets knocked down on national TV, but you have to admit that it is pretty fricken fantastic that this happened.  I love the “no cameras in my face after the game” attitude that unrolled out by Bill Belichick after this game.

The press gets way too much access to the coaches and players much too quickly after the game.  While I’m thrilled that New England professional sports took another epic loss in the shorts, let the guy go into the locker room, violent punch the air, curse, drink, and have his meltdown before he talks to the press.  We have too many press conferences that get played over and over again because no one has time to breathe.