Lenny from Indy

Better simulation of the game…

Mark Patrick, Jim Rome, Joe Buck, Bob Costas, Dan Patrick, Chris Collingsworth… These lesser sports announcers have to understand that a new kid on the block is about to take their jobs.  Look at this kid!  His name is LJ.  He is a Colts football genius!!!  Put him in a suit and get in in front of the microphone!

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

The Colts continue to roll.  Today was the suddenly surging Titans.  We all know the Titans story at this point.  13-3 last year, this year they started 0-6.  Kerry Collins gets benched and Vince Young returns!  They Titans go on to win the next 5 games.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…  The Titans are a really good team.  They are a hell of a lot better than the 5-6 record going into today’s game.  We know this.  We get it.  However, today they were to meet division foes, the Indianapolis Colts!

Now I wasn’t there to here him say anything, but Peyton seemed to have a wild look in his eye when he took to the field.  You knew he was thinking of a particular type of beat down he wanted to hand the Titans today.

This wild eyed look does not bode well for the Titans when Peyton is ready to spank a team.

Joseph Addai understood the message and ran for 79 yards on 21 attempts.  he scored 2 touchdowns.  Here is Joseph posing after touchdown number one in the end zone.

Joseph looks like he on a new weight training program.  Looking good Joe!

At this point, the Titans realized that winning this game was futile.  They simply lined up for a spanking.  They presented bum…

When Titans bum presented itself, the Colts obliged and placed the Titans in the position.

At one point in the second quarter it looked like the Titans were starting to enjoy the beating they were taking.  Spanking then commenced.

This looks painful.  Then the Colts defense stopped the mighty Lendale White at the goal line.

Lendale looks like he is enjoying this.  You know not to digress from this riveting game, but I drafted Lendale in the second round of my fantasy league.  Talk about a bust this year.  I had to drop him in week 5.  Anyway, no one cares about my fantasy team.  Back to the game!

Mercilessly the half ended and the Colts up 24-10.  Game plan for the second half was pretty simple.  Run the ball and let the defense do what it does best, shut it down.

Scoring-wise it was pretty uneventful.  What was great to see was the Colts defense looking playoff ready.  This makes Coach Caldwell very happy.  Check out the look on his face during the second half.

He is positively giddy with how great this defense has been playing.

The Colts defeated the Titans 27-17.

After the game, the Colts went to a local club to do some dancing to celebrate the win.  They look really happy.

Poor Jeff Fisher stayed in his hotel room wondering what it was like to feel like a winner…

Next week the Colts take on the Denver Broncos which should prove to be a better game than this one.

Our beloved Colts had a wild one in Houston yesterday as they suited up to play the Texans.  Both teams had a lot to play for yesterday.  If the Colts win, it would mean they wrap up the AFC South!  A win for the douche baggy Texans would mean they stay in the hunt for a wild card berth as they make a push for the playoffs.

Quarterback Matt Schaub in any other division would be a feared opponent.  In the AFC South however, he sits at the altar of Manning and asks the same question he has asked since 2007, “Why him and not me?”  Matt has played games against the Colts and has gotten the Texans close to winning but, they never never finish for the win.  It has to be frustrating for Matt.  Check out this picture of Matt before the game started…

Look at the intensity on Matt’s face.  On Sunday, Matt will not be denied!  Matt has one of the more feared offensive lines in all of football. Here is the Texans front O line before the game…

The Colts defense most definitely has it’s work cut out for them.  Look at these men!

Jeff Saturday, the coolest center in the business looked relaxed and ready to go…

My goodness…I love Jeff Saturday!

Peyton Manning had a rough first half as he threw for 2 interceptions…

Peyton looked a bit frazzled in the first half.  With that being said look at how hot Peyton is looking these days.  He must of changed conditioner or something.  Man I wanna hook up with him… Wait… What?

I digress…  At the half the Texans were up 20 to 7.  Now for most teams in the league this game is over.  Hell if this was Eli… nuff said.

Halftime for both teams was fraught with adjustments.  Check out Houston during the half in the locker room….

Look at these guys.  Laughing telling jokes.  Acting like this game is over.  Now in the Colts locker room…

Look at them.  All huddled around and going over plays for the second half.  The attention to detail is amazing by the Colts.  My my they are so hot… Anyhoooooo…. The Colts went marching onto the field and sang a different tune…

So bubbly after a 20 minute break.

Peyton passed a 4 yard pass to Reggie Wayne to close the gap 20-14…

Reggie Wayne showing the ref than he indeed caught the football.

Then in the forth quarter, like they have done 5 times this season, the Colts mounted a comeback that will be remember for at least 12 hours.

Manning to Dallas Clark….

LOOK AT DALLAS RUN INTO THE END ZONE!  I LOVE HIM!

Matt Schaub took to the field but any attempt at answering was thwarted by the bend but don’t break Colts defense….

Clint Session intercepts Matt Schaub!!!!!  Amazing!!!!

Even Chad Simpson got in on the forth quarter scoring with a 35 yard touchdown run!  Really…. Chad Simpson…. I know… I forgot he was on the roster as well!

Chad Simpson fixing his hair after spiking the football in the fourth quarter.

A sad sight after the Chad Simpson touchdown.  The Texans were on the field looking beaten, broken and scarred…

Another quick Texans start but not enough in the tank to finish.  A great game as the Colts beat the Texans 35 to 27.

Later that night….

The Colts dressed up as Princess Leia in the slave girl outfit from Return of the jedi and had a pillow fight in Peyton’s room to celebrate clinching the AFC South and the teams 11-0 perfect record.

And Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak was in the same hotel.  Only he was in the hotel bar wondering what the hell happened to his 17-0 lead.

The END!

Talk about the battle of who cares less.  A mediocre Ohio State team is going to play a horrible Michigan team.  Do you remember a few years back when this was the battle of the number one and two teams in the country?

If you are even remotely interested in this game you fall under one of these categories:

#1)  You had the displeasure of being recruited by one of these colleges.  You have to play.

#2) You are one of those die hard Michigan fans who brag that they are the “winningest football of programs of all time”.  You are ignoring the fact that you had a 60 year head start on 95% of the teams playing today.  You have little in life that brings you joy.  You should look into finding multiple hobbies.

#3) You are on the coaching staff.  See #1’s reason.

#4) You are a Ohio State fan.  Let’s face it, you have very little going in this mortal coil outside rooting for this below average football team.  You also know that Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS under Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.  You smell blood in the water and could care less that in 3 years time your team as well could become the national embarrassment that Michigan is right now.

#5) You are related in some way to one of the kids playing in this game.  You have to watch.

#6) You work for a media company that is forcing you to cover this game.  That sucks for you but at least you are getting paid for your attendance to this Pop Warner level football game.

#7) You are a bookie in Vegas and you had the task of trying to figure out a line that would make you the most money.

#8) You are a member of the Dead Schembechlers.  A spectacular band that takes punked up R.E.M.-ish sounding songs and writes Michigan hate songs.  Oddly enough, if you fall under this reason why you are watching this game, you are having the best time during this debacle of a game.

#9) You are a proud member of these once “beloved” schools.  You call one of these two hell holes your alma mater.  You get to spend the afternoon talking about the old days.

#10) You are Sarah Santarelli, Cheerleader for Ohio State.  I looked online and saw both squads.  Sarah is hands down the hottest cheerleader of the two squads.  She’s a senior and her major is nursing.  Sarah… Email me… lenny (at) wnde.com.  Let’s go to Steak n’ Shake for dinner!

If this game goes like we all think it should, Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.  Ohio State wins this game.

If I’m wrong, I’ll check in later.  If not, I’ll have more stuff up tomorrow.

Let’s start this Monday with a great Colts moment against the hated Patriots.

We’ll have more on the upcoming game all week.

Congrats to the Northwestern Wildcats for handing the mighty Iowa Hawkeyes a loss today. It was the Hawkeyes first loss of the season. I’m sure Dallas Clark and Bob Sanders are sad that the team that they played for took a loss to the scrappy Wildcats today.

This news is easier to take today because Purdue beat Michigan in Michigan’s stadium, the Big House. Funny part is at one point in the game Michigan had a 24-10 lead. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!! Kudos Purdue!!!

Defeating last year’s World Champions, here are the highlights of Game six where the Yankees dismantle the Philadelphia Phillies to become the new World Champions of major league baseball.

The bandwagon in Philadelphia is now unloading.

I might of said this about Josh McDaniels before the season started.

I might of said this about Josh McDaniels after Week 1 of the season.

Man, I hate this guy.

I guess you would classify myself as a Josh McDaniels “hater”.  I cheered for Jay Culter as he escaped and rooted for Brandon Marshall to make a similar exit before the season started.  Not that I care for Culter at all, in fact F that guy, he’s a whiny little bitch who can’t win big games under pressure.  Brandon however, is on my fantasy team and the thought of keeping him with Kyle Orton as the quarterback brought great pain to my team.  I think it was Josh’s smug attitude that really threw me off of liking the guy.  Say what you will about Denver, Mike Shanahan was and still will be a top rated coach in the NFL.  That’s a big pair of shoes for Josh to fill.

Beating Cincinnati in a fluke win was ugly.  It really didn’t show much of the team in week one.  Then beating Cleveland, Oakland, and a bad Dallas team over the next three weeks really didn’t make me respect him or his team too much.

However, in the last two weeks a win over the Patriots and last night’s win over division rival Chargers brings us to this moment.

Josh, I wanted you to fail like no other coach who has ever been in the head coach position in the NFL.  At this point you have shown that you are a really good coach capable of great things.  While I disagree with your cheeky and abrasive coaching style, I do believe that Denver has most definitely improved at the head coach position.  Please accept my apology.

As of last night, the Josh McDaniels era Denver Broncos now stand undefeated at 6-0.  Next week the Broncos take on the douche bags better known as the Baltimore Ravens.  Best of luck to you Josh and your team.

Developing…

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night I had a dream on three college football predictions.

My dreams teased me as reality is a bitch.

This is what I saw happen on Saturday in my dream.

Oregon Ducks over California Golden Bears (6)

Illinois Fighting Illini over Ohio State Buckeyes (13)

Indiana Hoosiers over Michigan Wolverines (23)

Here is reality…

Oregon Ducks 42 – California Golden Bears -3  – EPIC WIN!

Illinois Fighting Illini 0 -  Ohio State Buckeyes 30 – DREAM FAIL!

Indiana Hoosiers 33 – Michigan Wolverines 36 – DREAM FAIL!

For the record 33% of my dreams are cool.

Your Indianapolis Colts offense was on the field last night for fourteen minutes and fifty three seconds.

14:53.

That’s it.  That’s not a lot of time to put up points and huge stats.  Peyton Manning made the best of the little time he played.  14 passes for 303 yards.  The Colts put up 27 points.

So now you might be asking yourself, “Self.  What did the other team do with the 45:07?”

That other team was the Miami Dolphins.  Last year big success story.  They had a turnaround like you have never seen in football.  1-15 in 2007 to 11-5 in 2008.  They introduced “the wildcat” offense which has turned teams into mush.  So its pretty obvious that you would think the Dolphins with forty five minutes and seven seconds, would man handle our beloved Colts.

Now remember the Dolphins had possession of the ball for 45:07.  45:07!  That amount of time for possession only seems like it can be achieved in a Madden video game.

Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington threw 22 passes for 183 yards.  They put up 23 points.  That’s it… 23 points.

It only took 15 minutes for Peyton and company to dispose of the Dolphins, 27-23.

Is anyone else feeling the full force of the FAIL on the part of the Miami Dolphins?  The Dolphins have to be feeling a lot of shame today.  They couldn’t close the game.  FAIL!

The winning touchdown was scored by none other than Pierre Garcon.  He was the 39th pick in the sixth round of the 2008 draft.  Here is info on Pierre.  Please don’t front and pretend you knew who this guy was last night.  I had no clue who he was and you didn’t either.  I’m pretty sure the Dolphins has no idea who this guy is and how he was on the field with a Colts uniform.

Epic win for the much maligned Colts defense.  Over 80 plays on the field and made the stops when they had to last night.  The Colts are not the high scoring offense they were 2 years ago.  But, I’m digging the in the trenches street brawls the defense has been in for the last two weeks.

Bad news first for Colts fans.  The team is 2-0 by beating lesser teams like the Jaguars and the Dolphins.  They haven’t been truly tested as a team at this point in 2009 season. The first big test of who and what the Colts are as a team happens Sunday night as they travel to the hot desert of Arizona to take on the Super Bowl 43 losers, the Cardinals.

The good news is that the Colts are 2-0.

Courage.

SIDEBAR

Check out this picture of a Miami Dolphins cheerleader…

This woman has a fake tan.  She lives in Florida.  Why is she not soaking up the suns rays for a tan?  I’m pretty sure this is a fake tan because she is orange.  Tanning in the sun does not turn you orange.  Something from a bottle that you buy in a store turns you orange.  Tan Fail!

We observed week 2 of the NFL season.  Here’s the valuable lessons learned.

The Jets beat the Patriots.  I’m not making that up.  It’s the first time in 8 years that the Jets beat the Patriots at home (well the Jets play in Giants Stadium… I guess its home… I dunno).  The city of New York celebrated the epic win by bathing the top of the Empire State building with a green colored light.  We knew that Rex Ryan had a plan.  We talked about this earlier in the week.  Check out what I said about Rex Ryan.

The Patriots are no longer one of the Elite teams in the NFL.  America is happy, very happy.

Bears beat the Steelers in Soldier Field.  Parts of Chicago feel happiness.  The rest of the city wishes the Cubs were still in the playoff hunt.  Steelers kicker Jeff Reed looked sick on the sidelines as he watched Bear kicker Robbie Gould kick the winning field goal.  Jeff missed two kicks today.  The good people of Pittsburgh would like a shot at kicking him today.

Matt Ryan of the Atlanta Falcons will reign supreme in Atlanta for a long time.  “Matty Ice” as he has been nicknamed by teammates, has a unique skill set that will be able to take Atlanta far into the playoffs this year and for many years to come.  Can they bring back the “Dirty Bird” when they score touchdowns?  That ruled back in the day.

Detroit still hasn’t won a game in over a season.  Matt Stafford looks a lot like Peyton Manning circa his first year in Indianapolis.  Flashes of brilliance with a bunch of interceptions and losses.  Can Detroit turn around the massive amounts of failure and damage that Matt Millen inflicted on the Lions?  Check out this guy, here is his “Post game” thoughts on his Lions after today’s big loss to the Minnesota Vikings.

Meet Brett Favre, game manager.  I like this Favre better than the “gunslinger”.  With weapons like Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin he really has no excuses to make silly mistakes.  Plus Favre’s success kills Packers fans.  It’s fun to watch them squirm, whine and complain.

The Cincinnati Bengals and Buffalo Bills won!  Seriously.  The Bengals had the tougher road as they had to beat the Green Bay Packers.  Buffalo played Tampa Bay.  Tampa Bay needs to rebuild badly.  They have Kellen Winslow.  That’s about all you would want to keep on that team.

The Cardinals bounced back from last weeks loss to wallop the Jaguars, 37-17.  The Jaguars will draft Tim Tebow in the first round in next year’s NFL draft if the ownership would like to stay in Jacksonville.  Do I have to remind you that all of the Jaguars home games are blacked out because they haven’t sold out one of the teams eight home games?  Poor David Garrard isn’t going to know what hit him.  He is a great player among many underachieving players.  A change of scenery might do David good.  Tampa Bay anyone?

Jake Delhomme had a bounce back game.  25 completions for 308 yards, one touchdown and one interception.  However, the Panthers still lost to the Atlanta Falcons.  Maybe a change of scenery will do Jake good.  Tampa Bay anyone?

San Francisco’s offensive can be summed up in two words, Frank Gore.  16 rushes for 207 yards.  Two touchdowns.  It was like playing Madden on the beginner setting.

Matt Hasselback left the game with a rib injury before the half as the Seahawks went down pretty easy after that to the San Francisco 49′ers Gore’s.

Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saint used the Philadelphia Eagles as a doormat today.  I think the Eagles liked it.  Check the highlights…

The Texans beat the Titans.  Lots of offense, whoo-hoo!  The Titans are 0-2.

Who would have thought that the Denver Broncos would be 2-0?  With all of the change and drama they have had in this past off season is pretty amazing.  However, the Broncos beat the Bengals and Browns.  We’re not talking about stellar teams here.  Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels hasn’t had a real test yet.  We took a few shots at Josh’s witty and abrasive style on the blog.  We’ll have to readdress Broncos head coach after he beats a strong team.

The Redskins/Rams game was so overwhelmingly bad that it’s not worth talking about except to tell you that the Redskins won.

In a similar story, The Raiders beat the Chiefs.  People who dress up as Star Wars characters are happy this week.

Phillip Rivers threw for 436 yards today!  Fantasy football WIN!  However, the Chargers lost to the Baltimore Ravens.  Reality FAIL!

The Baltimore Ravens are the team to beat in the AFC North.  Ray Lewis still has mad skills.

Have you heard what they call the new Dallas Cowboys stadium?  Giants Stadium South.  Big win for the G-Men.  A devastating, historical loss for Jerry Jones and his Cowboys team in the new 2 billion dollar stadium that opened its doors to 100,000+ people last night.

Bonus stupidity:  Totally unrealated to week 2 NFL action check out Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith in a commercial.

A commercial with Jake only…

and finally a commercial with Jake and Charlie Daniels.

I’m not sure what to say either…

MJ held nothing back, the good, the bad and the bitchy even when the highest honor in the sport of basketball was bestowed on him. You have to love this guy and his attitude.