Lenny from Indy

On January 7, 2009, the Cleveland Browns hired former New York Jets coach Eric Mangini to be the head coach and pull this desolate team that is in the same division as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens out of a six foot pit they placed themselves in around 1999 when they drafted Tim Couch as quarterback.

Understand this Browns fans, this guy is not a miracle worker.  I compare him to Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies.  Before he became “Lord Vader”, Eric Mangini was Anakin Skywalker.  Anakin was a fun loving guy with potential that was off the scale.  His Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi knight that was going to teach him the ways of the Force (coaching) was a guy name Bill Belichick.  Now Bill we know is a bit of a curmudgeon himself, but his talent level is pretty undeniable.  Bill was teaching Eric the ways of the force and Eric was seduced by the dark side of the Force.  In this case we’ll call the dark side the New York Jets.  This was a mismatch from the start.  The Jets wanted different results from a guy whose name wasn’t Herm Edwards, former Jets coach.  Enter Mangini who essentially was in the right place at the right time with the stars and planets aligned.  The Patriots coaching staff were red hot due to the Patriots Super Bowl Run earlier in the last decade.  We’ve seen guys like Romeo Crennel (who Mangini replaced in Cleveland), Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniels all get poached away from masshole land (The greater New England area) to various coaching jobs in the NFL and college football with to this point failure as the final result.

Back on topic… Eric had a great first year with the Jets with Herm’s roster and playbook and guided the Jets to a wild card playoff loss in 2006.  Then he had time to embrace the dark side of the force, tinker, ruin, and destroy the Jets in his own special way.  They went 4-12 and 9-7.  No playoffs.  Eric was fired.

What’s crazy here is that 9 days after his firing, the Cleveland Browns hire him after they fired former Bill Belichick coach Romeo Crennel.

Are the Browns organization stupid?  Wait don’t answer that… there’s more to the story.

Eric entered this job with a much different atittude than he did when the Jets hired him.  He ran off what little talent they had and scorched the earth in Cleveland.  The simple people of Cleveland freaked.  Mainly because Lebron James can’t play two pro sports, but I digress… Eric did get one thing right.  He inherited a team that has had I believe one winning season since they re-entered the NFL in 1999.  This team is already buried 6 feet under with bad attitudes and the few people who are considered “top talent” on this team more than likely believe when they poo there is no way it can stink next to some of the open mouth breathers that they have as teammates.  Eric cleaned house, kept the ones who believed in the “we” and not the “I” and started over.  During his first draft, Eric kept trading down picks and stocked up on defensive players.  Interesting move to make when the draft wasn’t considered deep with skill players.

End result.  Major suckage.  They won one of their first twelve games.  Not fun for Browns fans.  More of the same they said out loud and then wore dog masks, as only morons do.

In fact two guys, season ticket holders demanded a meeting with the owner of the Browns to see what he was going to do to fix the situation.  Mind you, a situation that has been going on since 1999 but hey, Mangini is the face of the team so lets throw him under the bus for 9 years of failure before he even took the gig.  Sad part is that Cleveland Browns Owner Randy Lerner took the meeting and took it seriously.  What should of happened is a public flogging of these dumbells.  Meeting… Could you Imagine what this conversation could have been like??????????????

Moron season ticket holder #1:  Why can’t we be like the Steelers?

Randy Lerner:  Don’t you smell sadness?  That means we live in Cleveland son…

Moron season ticket holder #2:  I wear this dog mask all week long.

Randy Lerner:  Feet smell nice after washing with raspberry soap.

Moron season ticket holder #1:  I want the Browns to win the Super Bowl.

Randy Lerner:  One day we will.

Moron season ticket holder #2: When?

Randy Lerner:  When we blow up Pittsburgh son.  Thanks for your donation.  I own a NFL franchise.

Maybe it went like that and maybe it didn’t go like that.  I wasn’t there but that is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  Cleveland sucks.

People of Cleveland.  Randy has better things to do with his time that to hear your whining.

Back to Eric Mangini… He had done something that no other coach for Cleveland as done since re-entering the league in 1999.  They went on a 4 game win streak to close out the season.  They ended up 5- 11.  So a glimmer of hope in an otherwise forgettable season.  A four game win streak  First one in 10 years.  F U Browns fans.

So Anakin Skywalker (Mangini) needs his Emperor to begin his reign of terror.

ENTER THE WALRUS!

Former Green Bay Packers Super Bowl winning coach / Former Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl losing coach Mike Holmgren was hired to be the President and was given authority over the team’s football operations. This hire was made after Browns owner Randy Lerner announced that he wished to bring in a “serious, credible leader” to steer the team in the right direction. After public speculation (morons in Cleveland and the drizzle knobs in the media outright lying to themselves by fabricating that Holmgren and Mangini would not be able to co-exist, Holmgren stuck his Presidential foot in the ass of every citizen of Cleveland by announcing that Mangini stay and the entire coaching staff stays for the 2010 season.  Suck it dill weeds!  Then, Holmgren hired former Philadelphia Eagles general manager Tom Heckert to become the new general manager for the Browns.  That moved probably screwed Philadelphia long term but who cares, it’s Philadelphia.

On to the present day… I get the feeling that Cleveland is going to have to lean on Mangini’s past moves and hope players develop like he thinks they will.  Going into this season, the Browns have Brady Quinn, Brett Ratliff, and Seneca Wallace as quarterbacks.  If you fuse these guys together you more than likely won’t equal Jason Campbell of the Washington Redskins.  That’s a huge issue.

You have Joshua Cribs at wide receiver, Joe Thomas at tackle, maybe a defense Mangini put together last  season that look like it jelled at the end of the season.  You need help pretty much everywhere.  Consider this a rebuilding season.  At best… 6 wins… Maybe 7.

If the Cleveland Browns were a girl, she would look like this…

We’re just never going to know…

ATTN:  Chicago Bears

YOU F-ING MORONS!

So you start off last season with a great QB pickup…

In case you forgot, his name is Jay Cutler.  Last I checked, he’s a pretty good quarterback.  Laser rocket arm and all…  I do get the feeling he can be prima donna-ish/whiny bitch-ish but never-the-less, this is a franchise quarterback.  You jerk offs who run the Bears make the deal to get this good quarterback but forget to give him A OFFENSIVE LINE TO PROTECT HIM! AND, NO RECEIVERS!!!

So you had a bad season due to some minor over sights in personnel, Jay ran for his life, tried to make things happen.  He ended up trying to force things and threw a career high level of interceptions.  The aging defense lost a few key pieces to injury and you get a terrible season put in by your Chicago Bears.

Free agency time hits and who will the Bears sign to improve this lopsided, great quarterback but no offensive weapons?

DEFENSIVE PLAYERS!!!!!!

Really?  What are you guys trying to do, build another Super Bowl losing team?  Don’t answer that, we know the answer.  Free agency is essentially the draft for the Bears because all the draft picks went to Denver for Jay Cutler.  This is a sickening thought thinking that Hester, Knox, and Aromashodu is going to be top level receivers for the Bears.  I really have no issue with Aromashodu but you can double him, leave Knox open and feel confident that you can shut down the Bears passing game.  Greg Olsen is a pretty good tight end but the Bears have confused the issue with bringing in Brandon Manumaleuna.  He’s fine but a pointless pickup when you already had Greg Olsen.  Chester Taylor was a nifty pickup at the running back position.  The combo of him and Matt Forte would be good, if only they had a strong offensive line and the threat of a bad ass passing game.

Last season was terrible.  The off-season has been confusing.  Lovie Smith is not going to be able to make these pieces work.  If the Bears were a chick, this is what she would look like…

It’s just a ugly mess.

You have endued pain Chicago Bears fans.  More pain is is on the way.  Because, there is no hope.

Additional pain… Here’s a guy from the south side of Chicago who has no chance of a Super Bowl ring either.

The Indianapolis Colts!

A dream season!  The leagues MVP quarterback. 14 games in a row were wins!  The unstoppable Indianapolis Colts!

Then… game 15… they closed up shop… Walked away from a undefeated season because they needed to rest players…THE CITY SCREAMED IN ANGER!!!  GRRRR!

Truthfully, the city whined like little bitches.  WAH WAH WAH!  We want the undefeated season!

Bill Polian, the artichect of the Buffalo Bills from 1986 to 1993 and this great Indianapolis Colts team understands what it takes to get to the Super Bowl.  Since 1989 Bill has been involved with putting together 6 Super Bowl teams.

6.

That’s quite an impressive number.  Granted of the 6 teams only 1 raised the trophy but, how many other people in his position with other teams can say that they have accomplished this feat on two 2 teams.  Not one other person.

I bring this up because I notice amongst the good people of Indianapolis there seems to be this , “Anti Bill Polian” vibe in the city.  Let me give this to you in simple words… CUT IT OUT MORONS.  The guy created Camelot here and you are to stupid to understand what is in front of your non-deserving eyeballs.  Go ask every citizen of Buffalo and ask them how the Bills are doing after Mr. Polian was unceremoniously asked to leave the building?  THEY HAVE NEVER RECOVERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Show some respect to the man.

Ooopps… Sorry… back on topic… Bill Polian and his staff understood that the only thing that matters is getting to the Super Bowl.  Many veteran and banged up players were given time to rest for the playoff run.

The Colts defeated the Ravens and Jets on the path to the teams second Super Bowl appearance in 4 years.

What happens next is what every franchise that is at the top of their game experiences in only nightmares, being outplayed on the sports world’s biggest stage.

Much like the Colts last Super Bowl appearance, the half ended and it was still a close game.  However, the Colts came out and immediately felt the full force of a masterful aggressive game plan from Saints head coach Sean Payton.  Sean made some adjustments to the Saints game plan, while it seemed the Colts made none.  Reality TV star Hank Baskett failed to cover a onside kick from the Saints at the beginning of the third quarter.  In hindsight, the game ended right at that moment.  A player who was signed because Anthony Gonzalez went down to injury in game one of the season is the shining moment of failure for our beloved Colts in the Super Bowl.

Painful footage here:

Me gets the idea that Hank might not be a member of the Colts next year… Can’t wait for that next season of Kendra!

In Conclusion… If the Colts were to be a hot chick in a club during the regular season they would look like this….

Bumpin’ in da’ club.  Drinking 40’s and having a good ole’ time.  Sadly, closing time has come and the lights are on… this hot chick really looks like this….

The harsh morning light shows us that, well… we had a good time but we were really drunk.  I mean really, really, really off the scale hammered.  Now comes the rest of our life part…

What happens next?

Usually a team that loses a Super Bowl goes into the “dark ages” and takes years to recover (See 99/00 Giants, 04/05 Seahawks or o6/07 Bears).  However, none of those teams had Super genius Bill Polian at the helm.  In what might be a uncapped salary year, the Colts have the entire core of the team expect for Peyton Manning and Gary Brackett under contract.  So what do you think Mr. Polian is going to do here?  He’s going to sign Peyton and Gary and the team is going to be very competitive next year.

You might not of won it all last year Colts but, you have one of the better shots in the league to win it all next season.

On Monday we’ll continue our ongoing series on why your team didn’t win it all.  Check back Monday morning as we dissect the drama that is the Detroit Lions.

So… wow… terrible as the halftime show at the Super Bowl… Major music fail.

Kudos the the Saints on a great game.

I found this online!  This is not what I needed to see today…

Prince recorded a Minnesota Vikings fight song.  Being a fan of the Purple One, I am able to state that this is not his best work.  I’m usually good at finding this stuff.  I’m not sure how I missed this one before last Sunday’s Vikings/Saints game.  I must be in the presence of a Sith Lord.  A dark cloud has enveloped the Jedi Order.  I’m going to have get with the other Jedi’s and figure this out right quick.

Back to the mighty fricken awesome Prince.  No really… He did record a Vikings fight song… Take a listen…

here’s the lyrics:

the veil of the sky draws open
the roar of the chariots touch down
we r the ones who have now come again
and walk upon water like solid ground
as we approach the throne we won’t bow down
this time we won’t b denied

raise every voice and let it b known
in the name of the purple and gold

we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold

the eyes say ready 4 battle
no need 4 sword in hand
we r all amped up like a rock n roll band
ready 2 celebrate every score
ready 2 fight the elegant war
ready 2 hear the crowd roar

that’s what we came 4
and so much more
in the name of the purple and gold

r spirits may b tired
r bodies may b worn
but since this day is r destiny
r history that’s y we must b
4ever strong as the wind that blows the Vikings’ horn
in the name of the purple and gold

we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold

We need to sit Prince down and tell him what a good fight song is all about.  WE COME IN THE NAME OF THE PURPLE AND GOLD!  What was he thinking?  Anything off of Around The World In A Day with new lyrics would have trumped this masterwork.

BONUS AWESOME:  Here’s Prince live… He is one bad ass mother live.  RECOGNIZE!!!

Please let me apologize in advance to the good, honest, hard working people in the great state of Minnesota.  You as sports fans did not deserve to be FAVRED!  FAVREAGEDEON IS RUNNING WILD!!!

THIS IS NOT DETROIT MAN!  THIS IS THE SUPERBOWL!

Goodnight sweet Farve…

…is the new Dan Fouts!

A great QB with amazing abilities, lots of weapons, and absolutely no shot at raising the Lombardi trophy.

We welcome Philip Rivers, the latest inductee into Club Ringless!!!

This is somewhat funny.  Braylon Edwards dropping a pass in warm ups before a Jets/Miami game.  Someone needs to teach butter fingers how to catch the ball.

Jets fans, you will need all of the good Lord’s help against San Diego this weekend.

BONUS FAIL!

Another easy drop by Braylon vs. a lame Buffalo Bills secondary.

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

Brandon Marshall caught for 200 yards for Denver earlier today.

He set a record for most receptions in a game (21).

Denver lost 28-16.

Fail.

Colts keep on rolling.

They have set the record for the most consecutive season wins (22).

Win!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  That means a few things.  One of them being NFL Football.  We get tortured by a very lame Detroit Lions team and we see an unbelievable upgrade in football as the Dallas Cowboys usually beat up on a half way decent team.  While I’m not a Cowboys fan at all, in fact, I despise them greatly.  There is one thing that I enjoy more than turkey on Thanksgiving, Dallas Cowboys failure.

Here’s the Dallas Cowboys in 1993.  A game that is basically over and a Cowboys win turns into an ugly an absolute nightmare thanks to Leon Lett.

Leon Lett.  LETT LETT LETT!

Yeah, yeah I know Dallas fans will loudly decree that they are the last true dynasty in NFL football.  But, with every Super Bowl winning team you always have players that really only hitched their trailer to the star players on the team.  Leon Lett is one of those guys.  He was lucky to be on a team that had Emmitt Smith.

In the meantime let’s look at some of the Dallas players as they discuss Leon’s massive Thanksgiving  fail.

So great.  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LEON LETT!  LETT LETT LETT!!

BONUS FAILURE!!!

Leon farting around during  Super Bowl XXVII.  No touchdown stat for you Leon Lett… LETT LETT LETT!!!!

I reckon the “firing the coach thing” didn’t rally the troops to circle the wagons and get the win?

Hmmm.  This leaves me perplexed.

Now what Mr. Wilson?

In my own tiny opinion I believe that Ralph Wilson not only fired the wrong guy, he missed a few people.  This misfire exposes some other major glaring flaws within the team’s infrastructure.

Basic statement #1:  You are only as good as the players that you acquire through the draft and free agency.

Basic statement #2:  Proper coaching and a solid organized game plan is essential to at the very least being competitive in the NFL.

The Bills are so far behind the curve they make the Cleveland Browns look like Super Bowl Champions.  In case you didn’t know, Cleveland beat Buffalo in week 5 by the score of 6 to 3.  I’m not kidding with the score.  9 points all game.  This wasn’t a defensive battle type of game.  This has been referred to by some as, “The Game No One Wanted To Win”.  I think of that game as the game that set the NFL back 20 years.  Regardless of how it is remembered, it might be time for the Buffalo Bills to get back to basics.

It’s always odd when you look at the inner workings of a football team and see how they become accustomed to not only doing business, but how they are structured.

For instance… let’s take the current general manager Russ Brandon.  Russ, while involved in sports isn’t what you would call a “football general manager”.    Let’s look over Russ’ resume shall we…

Russ Brandon’s Resume

Class of 1989, St. John Fisher College

- Four-year letter winner as a wide receiver.

- .367 batting average on the baseball team.

- Inducted into the Fisher Athletics Hall of Fame in 2004.

Work Experience

Rochester Red Wings, Triple-A team – Started as a intern and by the time he left in 1993 he was the co-general manager along with Dan Mason, who is currently is still the Red Wings’ GM.

New York Yankees – Was apart of the Sports Advertising Network division.

Florida Marlins – Start at the spring training facility, then the Director of Corporate Sales in Miami two years later.

Buffalo Bills – Nov. 1, 1997 – Executive Director of Business Development and Marketing.

13 months later – promoted to the Vice President of Business Development and Marketing.  In 1999, as part of a way to expand the Bills’ market area, Brandon helped bring the Bills training camp from SUNY Fredonia to his Alma mater St. John Fisher College.

Jan. 12, 2007, after spending two years as the Executive Vice President of Business Operations, Brandon was named the new Bills COO (Chief Operating Officer) and took control over both business and football operations.  That’s quite a jump for anyone in any business.

Here is what you are telling me when I see this resume.  A marketing/sales guy is now involved in the draft, free agency, and everything in-between???

This is a catastrophic error on the part of Ralph Wilson.  This team has been in disarray for a decade.  There hasn’t been any improvement on this team, no team chemistry and poor decisions made at every level.

Firing the coach wasn’t the issue.  It might have been one of the issues.  A very minor issue compared to the inner workings of the Buffalo Bills front office.  Your structure of management and choice of people might be the issue.  This goes beyond “time to clean the house”.  You need to set off a nuke and start again.

Don’t waste your time finding the “big name coach”.  The “big name coach” in the current management structure is doomed to fail.