Lenny from Indy

On January 7, 2009, the Cleveland Browns hired former New York Jets coach Eric Mangini to be the head coach and pull this desolate team that is in the same division as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens out of a six foot pit they placed themselves in around 1999 when they drafted Tim Couch as quarterback.

Understand this Browns fans, this guy is not a miracle worker.  I compare him to Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies.  Before he became “Lord Vader”, Eric Mangini was Anakin Skywalker.  Anakin was a fun loving guy with potential that was off the scale.  His Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi knight that was going to teach him the ways of the Force (coaching) was a guy name Bill Belichick.  Now Bill we know is a bit of a curmudgeon himself, but his talent level is pretty undeniable.  Bill was teaching Eric the ways of the force and Eric was seduced by the dark side of the Force.  In this case we’ll call the dark side the New York Jets.  This was a mismatch from the start.  The Jets wanted different results from a guy whose name wasn’t Herm Edwards, former Jets coach.  Enter Mangini who essentially was in the right place at the right time with the stars and planets aligned.  The Patriots coaching staff were red hot due to the Patriots Super Bowl Run earlier in the last decade.  We’ve seen guys like Romeo Crennel (who Mangini replaced in Cleveland), Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniels all get poached away from masshole land (The greater New England area) to various coaching jobs in the NFL and college football with to this point failure as the final result.

Back on topic… Eric had a great first year with the Jets with Herm’s roster and playbook and guided the Jets to a wild card playoff loss in 2006.  Then he had time to embrace the dark side of the force, tinker, ruin, and destroy the Jets in his own special way.  They went 4-12 and 9-7.  No playoffs.  Eric was fired.

What’s crazy here is that 9 days after his firing, the Cleveland Browns hire him after they fired former Bill Belichick coach Romeo Crennel.

Are the Browns organization stupid?  Wait don’t answer that… there’s more to the story.

Eric entered this job with a much different atittude than he did when the Jets hired him.  He ran off what little talent they had and scorched the earth in Cleveland.  The simple people of Cleveland freaked.  Mainly because Lebron James can’t play two pro sports, but I digress… Eric did get one thing right.  He inherited a team that has had I believe one winning season since they re-entered the NFL in 1999.  This team is already buried 6 feet under with bad attitudes and the few people who are considered “top talent” on this team more than likely believe when they poo there is no way it can stink next to some of the open mouth breathers that they have as teammates.  Eric cleaned house, kept the ones who believed in the “we” and not the “I” and started over.  During his first draft, Eric kept trading down picks and stocked up on defensive players.  Interesting move to make when the draft wasn’t considered deep with skill players.

End result.  Major suckage.  They won one of their first twelve games.  Not fun for Browns fans.  More of the same they said out loud and then wore dog masks, as only morons do.

In fact two guys, season ticket holders demanded a meeting with the owner of the Browns to see what he was going to do to fix the situation.  Mind you, a situation that has been going on since 1999 but hey, Mangini is the face of the team so lets throw him under the bus for 9 years of failure before he even took the gig.  Sad part is that Cleveland Browns Owner Randy Lerner took the meeting and took it seriously.  What should of happened is a public flogging of these dumbells.  Meeting… Could you Imagine what this conversation could have been like??????????????

Moron season ticket holder #1:  Why can’t we be like the Steelers?

Randy Lerner:  Don’t you smell sadness?  That means we live in Cleveland son…

Moron season ticket holder #2:  I wear this dog mask all week long.

Randy Lerner:  Feet smell nice after washing with raspberry soap.

Moron season ticket holder #1:  I want the Browns to win the Super Bowl.

Randy Lerner:  One day we will.

Moron season ticket holder #2: When?

Randy Lerner:  When we blow up Pittsburgh son.  Thanks for your donation.  I own a NFL franchise.

Maybe it went like that and maybe it didn’t go like that.  I wasn’t there but that is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  Cleveland sucks.

People of Cleveland.  Randy has better things to do with his time that to hear your whining.

Back to Eric Mangini… He had done something that no other coach for Cleveland as done since re-entering the league in 1999.  They went on a 4 game win streak to close out the season.  They ended up 5- 11.  So a glimmer of hope in an otherwise forgettable season.  A four game win streak  First one in 10 years.  F U Browns fans.

So Anakin Skywalker (Mangini) needs his Emperor to begin his reign of terror.

ENTER THE WALRUS!

Former Green Bay Packers Super Bowl winning coach / Former Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl losing coach Mike Holmgren was hired to be the President and was given authority over the team’s football operations. This hire was made after Browns owner Randy Lerner announced that he wished to bring in a “serious, credible leader” to steer the team in the right direction. After public speculation (morons in Cleveland and the drizzle knobs in the media outright lying to themselves by fabricating that Holmgren and Mangini would not be able to co-exist, Holmgren stuck his Presidential foot in the ass of every citizen of Cleveland by announcing that Mangini stay and the entire coaching staff stays for the 2010 season.  Suck it dill weeds!  Then, Holmgren hired former Philadelphia Eagles general manager Tom Heckert to become the new general manager for the Browns.  That moved probably screwed Philadelphia long term but who cares, it’s Philadelphia.

On to the present day… I get the feeling that Cleveland is going to have to lean on Mangini’s past moves and hope players develop like he thinks they will.  Going into this season, the Browns have Brady Quinn, Brett Ratliff, and Seneca Wallace as quarterbacks.  If you fuse these guys together you more than likely won’t equal Jason Campbell of the Washington Redskins.  That’s a huge issue.

You have Joshua Cribs at wide receiver, Joe Thomas at tackle, maybe a defense Mangini put together last  season that look like it jelled at the end of the season.  You need help pretty much everywhere.  Consider this a rebuilding season.  At best… 6 wins… Maybe 7.

If the Cleveland Browns were a girl, she would look like this…

We’re just never going to know…

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

Talk about the battle of who cares less.  A mediocre Ohio State team is going to play a horrible Michigan team.  Do you remember a few years back when this was the battle of the number one and two teams in the country?

If you are even remotely interested in this game you fall under one of these categories:

#1)  You had the displeasure of being recruited by one of these colleges.  You have to play.

#2) You are one of those die hard Michigan fans who brag that they are the “winningest football of programs of all time”.  You are ignoring the fact that you had a 60 year head start on 95% of the teams playing today.  You have little in life that brings you joy.  You should look into finding multiple hobbies.

#3) You are on the coaching staff.  See #1’s reason.

#4) You are a Ohio State fan.  Let’s face it, you have very little going in this mortal coil outside rooting for this below average football team.  You also know that Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS under Rich “Big Balls Rod” Rodriguez.  You smell blood in the water and could care less that in 3 years time your team as well could become the national embarrassment that Michigan is right now.

#5) You are related in some way to one of the kids playing in this game.  You have to watch.

#6) You work for a media company that is forcing you to cover this game.  That sucks for you but at least you are getting paid for your attendance to this Pop Warner level football game.

#7) You are a bookie in Vegas and you had the task of trying to figure out a line that would make you the most money.

#8) You are a member of the Dead Schembechlers.  A spectacular band that takes punked up R.E.M.-ish sounding songs and writes Michigan hate songs.  Oddly enough, if you fall under this reason why you are watching this game, you are having the best time during this debacle of a game.

#9) You are a proud member of these once “beloved” schools.  You call one of these two hell holes your alma mater.  You get to spend the afternoon talking about the old days.

#10) You are Sarah Santarelli, Cheerleader for Ohio State.  I looked online and saw both squads.  Sarah is hands down the hottest cheerleader of the two squads.  She’s a senior and her major is nursing.  Sarah… Email me… lenny (at) wnde.com.  Let’s go to Steak n’ Shake for dinner!

If this game goes like we all think it should, Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.  Ohio State wins this game.

If I’m wrong, I’ll check in later.  If not, I’ll have more stuff up tomorrow.

So yesterday, I typed in Hot Steelers fans and came up with a nutty picture.  I got to thinking about how many “hot Steelers fans” are out in the internet.  Let’s see what was in the might world of Google image search…

Taken with a cell phone in a mirror.  I’m not sure if that’s her real skin tone or a bit of the fake tan spray.  She gets a 7 out of10 for the arched back pose in what looks to be a clean bathroom.

Up next a duo that looks like they are from either Mount Washington or Dormont.  True confession here, I lived in Pittsburgh for 5 years.  That stone base with the drab panels is a very common look of house all over the city but especially in Mount Washington and Dormont.  The girl on the left gets a 8 out of ten because she looks like the one with more attitude, style and personality.  Blondie has the forced “open mouth breather” pose and she looks like she is grabbing the girl on the left’s ass.  That leads me to believe that the girl on the left has a spectacular heiny region.  So the blonde gets a 5 out of 10 score.  It was going to be 4 but they are both displaying the shocker symbol.  I added one to her score.

I included this because this is just a mess of a picture.  Steelers logos all over a basketball and look at those shoes.  She also looks like Star Jones.  2 out of 10.  Sorry.

I have a few more that I’ll put up later.  I’m fascinated by the women Steelers fan and their proclivity towards online pictures.

Click here for a gallery of hot Steelers women.  Check it out!

Embarrassing.  Feel shame.  The whole lot of you.

I hope they gave her the chair.

Seriously, if you can’t handle the booze at a sporting event.  Don’t drink.  Better yet, listen on the radio.  We do not need your kind in the general population at a sporting event.

Another angle of this “woman’s” massive fail.