Lenny from Indy

Colts fans remain calm.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On December - 28 - 2009

Stop bitching.  The first string Colts played for 2 quarters and change, and only put up 15 points.  It’s not like they never saw the field.  They had time to play.

Would you rather change places with the fans of these teams?

1. St. Louis Rams – 60 more minutes and they have the first drat pick.

2. Washington Redskins – All the money spend on all of those players and  they sit at the bottom of the NFC East.

3. Chicago Bears – The interception riddled QB with no one to throw the ball to?

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The sharp decline this team has felt since 2002 is comical.

5. Buffalo Bills – Been a joke since the music  city miracle.

6. New York Giants – Just played themselves out of the playoffs.

7. Seattle  Seahawks – Mora Jr is the coach.  We’ve seen that movie here with Mora Senior.

8. Cleveland Browns – Nothing good comes from or out of Cleveland.

9. Oakland Raiders – Commitment to Excellence.  Just Win Baby. Buzz phrases + bad drafting = failure.

10. Detroit Lions – Fail. Abort. Restart. Repeating that cycle since 1997.

The Colts are first place in the AFC South, number 1 seed in the AFC, and the road to the Super Bowl comes through Indy.  Take a breath you spoiled brats.

12th man, AFC South, Adam Schefter, Adam Vinatieri, Adrian Peterson, Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Bandwagon unloading, Ben Roethlisberger, Bill Belichick, Bill Cowher, Blue, Brett Favre, Buffalo Bills, CAN THE COLTS BE STOPPED?, Carolina Panthers, Cheerlanders, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Colts Defense, Contract Extension, Cowboys Stadium, DOUBLE AWESOME!!!, Dallas Clark, Dallas Cowboys, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Daniel Synder, Dennis Dixon, Derek Anderson, Detroit Lions, Dick Jauron, Donovan McNabb, Dopes, Drew Brees, ESPN, Emmitt Smith, Epic Win, Eric Mangini, F U Dan Marino, FAVRE-AGEDON is running wild!, Fail, Fans, Football, Gary Brackett, Geeks unite, Giants playoff hopes dashed, Hank Baskett, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Jake Delhomme, Jared Allen, Jeff Reed, Jeff Saturday, Jerome Bettis, Jim Zorn, Joesph Addai, John Fox, Josh McDaniels, Just Win Baby, Kansas City Chiefs, Kendra Wilkinson, Kudos, Leon Lett, Lucas Oil Stadium, Mark Sanchez, Matt Hasselback, Matt Ryan, Matt Stafford, Matt Stover, Matt Williams, Mel Kiper, Miami Dolphins, Michael Turner, Michigan BLOWS HUGE HEARTY CHUNKS, Michigan sucks, Minnesota Vikings, NFL, NFL draft, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, Newpaper reporters suck, Next Year, Oakland Raiders, Percy Harvin, Peyton Manning, Philadelphia Eagles, Philip Rivers, Philly sucks, Pierre Garcon, Pittsburgh Steelers, Playoffs, Princess Leia, Promises broken, Purdue Boilermakers, RCA Dome, Ralph Wilson, Ray Lewis, Really?, Rest In Peace, Rex Ryan, Rich Rodriguez, Rob Johnson, Russ Brandon, Ryan Moats, Sage Rosenfels, Salary cap, Sam Bradford, San Diego Chargers, San Francisco 49'ers, Season gone south, Season ticket holders, Seattle Seahawks, Slave Girl from Return of the Jedi, Spygate, St. Louis Rams, Steve Slaton, Steve Smith, Super Bowl Champion, Suzy Kolber, System Quarterbacks, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tarvaris Jackson, Tennesse Titans, Terrell Owens, The Burner, The Colts Mascot, The Slogfather, Throw it on the Ground, Thug Speak, Tiki Barber, Tom Brady, Tom Coughlin, Tony Gonzalez, Tony Romo, Tweet, Twitter, Vince Lombardi, Washington Redskins, Would it have killed the Giants if the acquired a number 1 receiver before the season started?, arm chair coaches, chicago bears, colts, commitment to excellence, denver broncos, don't judge, eli manning, embarrassment, epic loss, greatest sport ever, green bay packers, injury, innocence lost, jay culter, jerry jones, no! you are doing it wrong, pitch man, poor sportsmanship, pwned, shut up, spanking, super bowl, super bowl ring, the battle of who cares less, the chosen one, the sadness, tony dungy, upset, walk a mile in another man's shoes, when super bowl champions fight, willie parker, words cannot describe the awesome, zombies

Colts vs. Titans – Postgame Wrap up…

Posted by Lenny from Indy On December - 7 - 2009

The Colts continue to roll.  Today was the suddenly surging Titans.  We all know the Titans story at this point.  13-3 last year, this year they started 0-6.  Kerry Collins gets benched and Vince Young returns!  They Titans go on to win the next 5 games.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…  The Titans are a really good team.  They are a hell of a lot better than the 5-6 record going into today’s game.  We know this.  We get it.  However, today they were to meet division foes, the Indianapolis Colts!

Now I wasn’t there to here him say anything, but Peyton seemed to have a wild look in his eye when he took to the field.  You knew he was thinking of a particular type of beat down he wanted to hand the Titans today.

This wild eyed look does not bode well for the Titans when Peyton is ready to spank a team.

Joseph Addai understood the message and ran for 79 yards on 21 attempts.  he scored 2 touchdowns.  Here is Joseph posing after touchdown number one in the end zone.

Joseph looks like he on a new weight training program.  Looking good Joe!

At this point, the Titans realized that winning this game was futile.  They simply lined up for a spanking.  They presented bum…

When Titans bum presented itself, the Colts obliged and placed the Titans in the position.

At one point in the second quarter it looked like the Titans were starting to enjoy the beating they were taking.  Spanking then commenced.

This looks painful.  Then the Colts defense stopped the mighty Lendale White at the goal line.

Lendale looks like he is enjoying this.  You know not to digress from this riveting game, but I drafted Lendale in the second round of my fantasy league.  Talk about a bust this year.  I had to drop him in week 5.  Anyway, no one cares about my fantasy team.  Back to the game!

Mercilessly the half ended and the Colts up 24-10.  Game plan for the second half was pretty simple.  Run the ball and let the defense do what it does best, shut it down.

Scoring-wise it was pretty uneventful.  What was great to see was the Colts defense looking playoff ready.  This makes Coach Caldwell very happy.  Check out the look on his face during the second half.

He is positively giddy with how great this defense has been playing.

The Colts defeated the Titans 27-17.

After the game, the Colts went to a local club to do some dancing to celebrate the win.  They look really happy.

Poor Jeff Fisher stayed in his hotel room wondering what it was like to feel like a winner…

Next week the Colts take on the Denver Broncos which should prove to be a better game than this one.

Postgame: Colts @ Texans

Posted by Lenny from Indy On November - 30 - 2009

Our beloved Colts had a wild one in Houston yesterday as they suited up to play the Texans.  Both teams had a lot to play for yesterday.  If the Colts win, it would mean they wrap up the AFC South!  A win for the douche baggy Texans would mean they stay in the hunt for a wild card berth as they make a push for the playoffs.

Quarterback Matt Schaub in any other division would be a feared opponent.  In the AFC South however, he sits at the altar of Manning and asks the same question he has asked since 2007, “Why him and not me?”  Matt has played games against the Colts and has gotten the Texans close to winning but, they never never finish for the win.  It has to be frustrating for Matt.  Check out this picture of Matt before the game started…

Look at the intensity on Matt’s face.  On Sunday, Matt will not be denied!  Matt has one of the more feared offensive lines in all of football. Here is the Texans front O line before the game…

The Colts defense most definitely has it’s work cut out for them.  Look at these men!

Jeff Saturday, the coolest center in the business looked relaxed and ready to go…

My goodness…I love Jeff Saturday!

Peyton Manning had a rough first half as he threw for 2 interceptions…

Peyton looked a bit frazzled in the first half.  With that being said look at how hot Peyton is looking these days.  He must of changed conditioner or something.  Man I wanna hook up with him… Wait… What?

I digress…  At the half the Texans were up 20 to 7.  Now for most teams in the league this game is over.  Hell if this was Eli… nuff said.

Halftime for both teams was fraught with adjustments.  Check out Houston during the half in the locker room….

Look at these guys.  Laughing telling jokes.  Acting like this game is over.  Now in the Colts locker room…

Look at them.  All huddled around and going over plays for the second half.  The attention to detail is amazing by the Colts.  My my they are so hot… Anyhoooooo…. The Colts went marching onto the field and sang a different tune…

So bubbly after a 20 minute break.

Peyton passed a 4 yard pass to Reggie Wayne to close the gap 20-14…

Reggie Wayne showing the ref than he indeed caught the football.

Then in the forth quarter, like they have done 5 times this season, the Colts mounted a comeback that will be remember for at least 12 hours.

Manning to Dallas Clark….

LOOK AT DALLAS RUN INTO THE END ZONE!  I LOVE HIM!

Matt Schaub took to the field but any attempt at answering was thwarted by the bend but don’t break Colts defense….

Clint Session intercepts Matt Schaub!!!!!  Amazing!!!!

Even Chad Simpson got in on the forth quarter scoring with a 35 yard touchdown run!  Really…. Chad Simpson…. I know… I forgot he was on the roster as well!

Chad Simpson fixing his hair after spiking the football in the fourth quarter.

A sad sight after the Chad Simpson touchdown.  The Texans were on the field looking beaten, broken and scarred…

Another quick Texans start but not enough in the tank to finish.  A great game as the Colts beat the Texans 35 to 27.

Later that night….

The Colts dressed up as Princess Leia in the slave girl outfit from Return of the jedi and had a pillow fight in Peyton’s room to celebrate clinching the AFC South and the teams 11-0 perfect record.

And Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak was in the same hotel.  Only he was in the hotel bar wondering what the hell happened to his 17-0 lead.

The END!

Jeff Fisher is starting to implode.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On October - 21 - 2009

I guess you would file this under, “It’s funny because it’s not my coach.”  If Jim Caldwell did this, I would want his firing on public TV so it could be recorded and then uploaded to youtube for later viewings.

YouTube Preview Image

I wonder what city Jeff will be coaching in next year?

Colts v. Dolphins.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On September - 22 - 2009

Your Indianapolis Colts offense was on the field last night for fourteen minutes and fifty three seconds.

14:53.

That’s it.  That’s not a lot of time to put up points and huge stats.  Peyton Manning made the best of the little time he played.  14 passes for 303 yards.  The Colts put up 27 points.

So now you might be asking yourself, “Self.  What did the other team do with the 45:07?”

That other team was the Miami Dolphins.  Last year big success story.  They had a turnaround like you have never seen in football.  1-15 in 2007 to 11-5 in 2008.  They introduced “the wildcat” offense which has turned teams into mush.  So its pretty obvious that you would think the Dolphins with forty five minutes and seven seconds, would man handle our beloved Colts.

Now remember the Dolphins had possession of the ball for 45:07.  45:07!  That amount of time for possession only seems like it can be achieved in a Madden video game.

Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington threw 22 passes for 183 yards.  They put up 23 points.  That’s it… 23 points.

It only took 15 minutes for Peyton and company to dispose of the Dolphins, 27-23.

Is anyone else feeling the full force of the FAIL on the part of the Miami Dolphins?  The Dolphins have to be feeling a lot of shame today.  They couldn’t close the game.  FAIL!

The winning touchdown was scored by none other than Pierre Garcon.  He was the 39th pick in the sixth round of the 2008 draft.  Here is info on Pierre.  Please don’t front and pretend you knew who this guy was last night.  I had no clue who he was and you didn’t either.  I’m pretty sure the Dolphins has no idea who this guy is and how he was on the field with a Colts uniform.

Epic win for the much maligned Colts defense.  Over 80 plays on the field and made the stops when they had to last night.  The Colts are not the high scoring offense they were 2 years ago.  But, I’m digging the in the trenches street brawls the defense has been in for the last two weeks.

Bad news first for Colts fans.  The team is 2-0 by beating lesser teams like the Jaguars and the Dolphins.  They haven’t been truly tested as a team at this point in 2009 season. The first big test of who and what the Colts are as a team happens Sunday night as they travel to the hot desert of Arizona to take on the Super Bowl 43 losers, the Cardinals.

The good news is that the Colts are 2-0.

Courage.

SIDEBAR

Check out this picture of a Miami Dolphins cheerleader…
Fake and bake?  YOU LIVE IN MIAMI!

This woman has a fake tan.  She lives in Florida.  Why is she not soaking up the suns rays for a tan?  I’m pretty sure this is a fake tan because she is orange.  Tanning in the sun does not turn you orange.  Something from a bottle that you buy in a store turns you orange.  Tan Fail!

Week 2 NFL action! A look around the league.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On September - 21 - 2009

We observed week 2 of the NFL season.  Here’s the valuable lessons learned.

The Jets beat the Patriots.  I’m not making that up.  It’s the first time in 8 years that the Jets beat the Patriots at home (well the Jets play in Giants Stadium… I guess its home… I dunno).  The city of New York celebrated the epic win by bathing the top of the Empire State building with a green colored light.  We knew that Rex Ryan had a plan.  We talked about this earlier in the week.  Check out what I said about Rex Ryan.

The Patriots are no longer one of the Elite teams in the NFL.  America is happy, very happy.

Bears beat the Steelers in Soldier Field.  Parts of Chicago feel happiness.  The rest of the city wishes the Cubs were still in the playoff hunt.  Steelers kicker Jeff Reed looked sick on the sidelines as he watched Bear kicker Robbie Gould kick the winning field goal.  Jeff missed two kicks today.  The good people of Pittsburgh would like a shot at kicking him today.

YouTube Preview Image

Matt Ryan of the Atlanta Falcons will reign supreme in Atlanta for a long time.  “Matty Ice” as he has been nicknamed by teammates, has a unique skill set that will be able to take Atlanta far into the playoffs this year and for many years to come.  Can they bring back the “Dirty Bird” when they score touchdowns?  That ruled back in the day.

YouTube Preview Image

Detroit still hasn’t won a game in over a season.  Matt Stafford looks a lot like Peyton Manning circa his first year in Indianapolis.  Flashes of brilliance with a bunch of interceptions and losses.  Can Detroit turn around the massive amounts of failure and damage that Matt Millen inflicted on the Lions?  Check out this guy, here is his “Post game” thoughts on his Lions after today’s big loss to the Minnesota Vikings.

YouTube Preview Image

Meet Brett Favre, game manager.  I like this Favre better than the “gunslinger”.  With weapons like Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin he really has no excuses to make silly mistakes.  Plus Favre’s success kills Packers fans.  It’s fun to watch them squirm, whine and complain.

The Cincinnati Bengals and Buffalo Bills won!  Seriously.  The Bengals had the tougher road as they had to beat the Green Bay Packers.  Buffalo played Tampa Bay.  Tampa Bay needs to rebuild badly.  They have Kellen Winslow.  That’s about all you would want to keep on that team.

The Cardinals bounced back from last weeks loss to wallop the Jaguars, 37-17.  The Jaguars will draft Tim Tebow in the first round in next year’s NFL draft if the ownership would like to stay in Jacksonville.  Do I have to remind you that all of the Jaguars home games are blacked out because they haven’t sold out one of the teams eight home games?  Poor David Garrard isn’t going to know what hit him.  He is a great player among many underachieving players.  A change of scenery might do David good.  Tampa Bay anyone?

Jake Delhomme had a bounce back game.  25 completions for 308 yards, one touchdown and one interception.  However, the Panthers still lost to the Atlanta Falcons.  Maybe a change of scenery will do Jake good.  Tampa Bay anyone?

San Francisco’s offensive can be summed up in two words, Frank Gore.  16 rushes for 207 yards.  Two touchdowns.  It was like playing Madden on the beginner setting.

Matt Hasselback left the game with a rib injury before the half as the Seahawks went down pretty easy after that to the San Francisco 49′ers Gore’s.

Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saint used the Philadelphia Eagles as a doormat today.  I think the Eagles liked it.  Check the highlights…

YouTube Preview Image

The Texans beat the Titans.  Lots of offense, whoo-hoo!  The Titans are 0-2.

Who would have thought that the Denver Broncos would be 2-0?  With all of the change and drama they have had in this past off season is pretty amazing.  However, the Broncos beat the Bengals and Browns.  We’re not talking about stellar teams here.  Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels hasn’t had a real test yet.  We took a few shots at Josh’s witty and abrasive style on the blog.  We’ll have to readdress Broncos head coach after he beats a strong team.

The Redskins/Rams game was so overwhelmingly bad that it’s not worth talking about except to tell you that the Redskins won.

In a similar story, The Raiders beat the Chiefs.  People who dress up as Star Wars characters are happy this week.

Phillip Rivers threw for 436 yards today!  Fantasy football WIN!  However, the Chargers lost to the Baltimore Ravens.  Reality FAIL!

The Baltimore Ravens are the team to beat in the AFC North.  Ray Lewis still has mad skills.

YouTube Preview Image

Have you heard what they call the new Dallas Cowboys stadium?  Giants Stadium South.  Big win for the G-Men.  A devastating, historical loss for Jerry Jones and his Cowboys team in the new 2 billion dollar stadium that opened its doors to 100,000+ people last night.

Bonus stupidity:  Totally unrealated to week 2 NFL action check out Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith in a commercial.

YouTube Preview Image

A commercial with Jake only…

YouTube Preview Image

and finally a commercial with Jake and Charlie Daniels.

YouTube Preview Image

I’m not sure what to say either…

Kendra Wilkinson is now a Colts fan!

Posted by Lenny from Indy On September - 18 - 2009


On the left, that’s 6 foot 4 inch 220 pounds of new Indianapolis Colts wide receiver, Hank Baskett.  With Anthony Gonzales out for anywhere from 3 to 5 weeks the Colts needed a set of hands.  On the right, that’s 5 foot 4 inch 115 pounds unbelievably hot woman is Kendra Wilkinson.  Kendra is a reality show queen.  She starred in the E! reality-television show The Girls Next Door and now stars in the new reality series Kendra.  And, she’s silly hot.

So if you are keeping track, the order of the Top 5 superstars of the Indianapolis Colts has changed now that Hank signed a contract with the team.

1. Kendra Wilkinson.

2. Peyton Manning.

3. Tony Dungy. I know… Still. Insane right?

4. Jeff Saturday.

5. Blue. The Colts Mascot.

Sunday’s just got better at Lucas Oil Stadium and it’s not for the talent they have on the field.

Don’t get angry with this list. The top 5 changes all the time. I’m sure Peyton will regain the lead as Colts superstar #1. If he looks as good as Kendra does in the below outfit, I will have no issues re-listing Peyton at number 1.

Colts: And then there were 53.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On September - 6 - 2009

The Colts on Saturday waived 18 players yesterday and placed three players on waived-injured list.  Now they are game ready at 53!

Waived:

Running back Lance Ball

Wide receiver Sam Giguere

Defensive lineman John Gill

Defensive tackle Adrian Grady

Running back Mike Hart (another Michigan bust)

Defensive end Marcus Howard

Defensive back Dante Hughes

Center Steve Justice

Wide receiver John Matthews

Wide receiver Brett McDermott

Running back Walter Mendenhall

Offensive lineman Tom Pestock

Wide receiver Taj Smith (This one is sad.  Taj has all the makings of being a great wide receiver.  Hopefully they can find room for him on the practice squad.)

Linebacker Michael Tauiliili

Defensive tackle Terrance Taylor

Offensive lineman Jaimie Thomas  Defensive end Josh Thomas

Offensive tackle Michael Toudouze

Waived-Injured:

Defensive back Nick Graham

Defensive back Travis Key

Tight end Jamie Petrowski.

The Colts removed safety Bob Sanders from the Physically Unable to Perform List, placing him on the 53-player active roster.

Defensive tackle Ed Johnson will not count on the active roster until after Week One.

Looking around the league.

Posted by Lenny from Indy On August - 27 - 2009

Aside from all the obvious jokes about New Jersey (What’s that smell?), Colts rookie wide receiver, Taj Smith tells tales of his youth growing up in beautiful scenic Newark, New Jersey.  Click this link to read about the shootings, burning and gang violence.  You read stories like this and you only want to root for a guy like Taj.  Here’s to hoping he’ll make the team.

A few updates from around the NFL:

1.  Kyle Orton is giving Denver fans fits.

I used this link to show the dark room of the Denver man who watched this PASS FAIL in silence.

YouTube Preview Image

And not to be a Orton hater, although I think with Denver’s choices at the Quarterback position (Start Simms you buffons) is ultra-mega limited.  What you have here is Kyle Orton’s highlight film, while not 100% terrible, it is marred by his bonehead left handed throw (he’s a right handed thrower) to Seattle’s Defense.  I’m not even sure that whiny bitch Jay Culter could throw a pass that bad even if he tried.

YouTube Preview Image

Denver – Don’t fret!  You have a good shot at drafting Tim Tebow next year.

2. The Jets will be starting rookie Mark Sanchez.  That’s dirty.

3.  I have full on man love for Drew Brees.  He’s the only quarterback in the league who has put Jeremy Shockey in his place.  Think about it.  Last year Brees snapped at Shockey on the sideline, taking his ego down to a reasonable level.  Coupled with Jeremy’s injuries from last season, maybe he finally figured out that team chemistry is kind of  important.  Jeremy even showed up to training camp?!?!?!?!?!?!  He even showed up to practices that were not required.  Let’s file this under douche bag grows up.  Kudos Drew on teaching Shockey that there is no “I” in team.

4.  I’ve been watching The Cincinnati Bengals on HBO’s Hard Knocks series.  Definitely check out the HBO trailer.  They edited this team together on this commercial for the show and made them look like a good, solid, competitive team.  Don’t buy into the hype.  They are still in the same division with the Steelers and Ravens.  They are going to be lucky if they win 6 games this year.

YouTube Preview Image

From time to time I’ll be keeping a real time top 5 on who is going to draft Tim Tebow.  This first top 5 is working off of last years stats and the first 2 weeks of Preseason.

Tim Tebow Sweepstakes

1.  Denver

2. Cincinnati – C’mon guys… Carson Palmer, while a good quarterback is a mess.

3. Tampa Bay

4. Buffalo

5. San Francisco

The Preseason files: “Rock and Roll Part 2″?

Posted by Lenny from Indy On August - 21 - 2009

So in 2006 The NFL apparently banned the use of Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part 2″ from NFL stadiums due to his arrest and eventual conviction of molesting a pair of girls in Vietnam.

Link here for that story: http://www.aversion.com/news/news_article.cfm?news_id=7163

Imagine my surprise when the Colts first touchdown happened and we take a trip back in sports music history and the unmistakable sounds of “Rock and Roll Part 2″ starts playing.

Has the ban been lifted?  Did Tony Dungy do for “Rock and Roll Part Two” what he did for Michael Vick?  How do we find this out?  There is no info on the internet about the ban being lifted on the song.

WASSUP WITH THAT?

The Preseaon files: JIMMY! You have some ’splaining to do!

Posted by Lenny from Indy On August - 17 - 2009

Actually not really.  The Colts are not a team that excels in the preseason.  But, here is a link to Stampede Blue with coverage from the first Colts pregame that pretty much covers the ultra mega non importance of the game.

http://www.stampedeblue.com/2009/8/16/991113/jim-caldwell-discusses-pre-season

We have more important things to cover.  Here is something that I haven’t been able to find online….

How come the terms of Jim Caldwell’s deal has not been announced when he was named head coach?

I find it odd that they never made this announcement public.  I guess they could say that they are going off Jim’s old contract but that makes no sense.  How do you think that meeting went?

“Well Jim, you are the new coach but we’ll go by the terms of the old contract and will not be bumping you up in pay and FYI, we need a deep playoff run.  You are the head coach! Make it rain!  Go Colts!”

I don’t care about how much cash he’s making.  He is a NFL head coach.  Only 32 of those jobs exist.  For the most part all NFL coaches are fairly well paid.  How many years did they sign him for as the Colts head coach?

This is perplexing to me.

Indianapolis 14 – New England 7

Posted by Lenny from Indy On August - 14 - 2009

My first experience with the new Madden game.  Will EA Sports sleep with me?  The entire company.

Friday, August 14, 2009.  It is a day that will live in infamy.  It is a day that will be etched in the hearts of all man.  A day that… well you probably won’t remember much of today.  However, those of you who own a game system know that this today can be counted as one of the few great days to be a gamer.  Madden 10 is released today.  Oh happy day! 

There is one slight issue in today’s celebration of gamerdom.  I need a copy of Madden 10.  I need the game now. 

Flashback to Thursday, August 13, 2009.  My boss Buzz walks into my office and asks who is doing a midnight sale on Madden.  Fifteen calls later, much to my dismay no one is doing a midnight sale on Madden 10.  Seriously game retailers of Indianapolis, are you kidding the general populace?   Very few things in this life deserve a midnight sale.  Here is the quick list of what deserves a midnight sale:

                                                1) Any Will Smith movie DVD release.

                                                2) The new Madden game.

                                                3) A new ice cream flavor to be debuted by Ben & Jerry’s.

So of all the products in the world, only three matter.  Madden is number two!  Retailers of Indianapolis, get with the program!

I digress, on the morning of August 14th, 2009 I walk into work with one goal, to go to the Best Buy at 5820 East 82nd Street and purchase Madden 10.  I get into the office, sit at my desk and start answering emails.  All I can think about is how quickly I can tear into Tom Brady’s fibula with one great hit.  My boss Buzz walks in and just screams out, “SO WHEN DOES VICK GET ADDED TO THE EAGLES ON MADDEN?”

“Buzz, Vick isn’t even in the game. He has no skill scores.  The game is out today, he hasn’t played a game yet.  They will assign score to him after he plays.  He’ll be in the first roster update.”

Buzz fires back, “It’s going to be fantastic!  I gotta play the Eagles after the first roster update.”

This isn’t helping my need to secure my copy of Madden 10.  I don’t even want to be here right now.  I need the new Madden game now!

I quickly get done with some work and it’s now Noon.  I have to get to Best Buy now! 

I’m in my car and I’m driving to Best Buy.  I usually try to avoid a lot of the hype on the game.  I don’t want to set any expectations on the game.  You read all this pre-hype and what you see in your mind never, ever matches the actual game.  Granted for the next two weeks I’ll now be reading every persons review of the game but right now I’m turning into the Best By parking lot.  I walk out of the car, across the parking lot and into Best Buy.  The greeter says. “Hello and welcome to Best Buy.”

I could not even give a hello to this guy.  Not even a nice weather out there today comment.  I look at him and revert to a drooling child and say one word….

“Madden?”

The greeter points to the left and off I walk.  I see a Best Buy employee with a stack of Madden 10 games.  I started thinking about giving the dude a chop block and then picking up my game.

“Hello sir.  How many I help you.”

Where are my speech skills today?  I look at him and say one word…

“Madden?”

“Oh these are the reserved copies.”

I won’t lie.  I died a little on the inside when he said that.  This wasn’t a stack of Madden games.  This was a STACK OF MADDEN GAMES. 

“We have copies in all formats on that table over th….”

I immediately turned and walked to the direction the kind sales rep pointed too.   To his credit the dude told no tall tales, an entire table of Madden 10 games in every game format.  It was a beautiful sight.  I can’t lie.  I fought back the urge to shed tears.  I’m not talking about big T.O. “he’s my quarterback” sized tears.  Maybe, watching the 30th anniversary of Star Wars dinner tears when the cast recreated the final scene in Star Wars where Han Solo, Luke and Chewbacca are brandishing the bling that Princes Leia just bestowed on them for blowing up the Death Star tears.  You know manly tears.

I grabbed the game, paid for it at the checkout line and drove home.

Once home, I turned the game on.  The first thing I heard after the load was the unmistakable sound of Nirvana’s “Breed” from the spectacular Nevermind album.  This brings me to my first bone of contention with the madden franchise.  I’m not against music.  I like music.  But, I have to go into the game setup and knock out all the songs which are already pre-checked and then have to check all the Sam Spence football music on.  I like Nirvana, Kid Rock and most of the songs that are on Madden but when I want to make Tom Brady’s spleen burst, I need the orchestral sounds of Sam Spence’s original NFL music as the soundtrack.  A minor point, yes I know.  But, that needs to be reversed for next year. 

The introduction opens with the Steelers/Cardinals Super Bowl game as its back drop.  The cover athletes Troy Polamalu of the Steelers and Larry Fitzgerald of the Cardinals are the main focus.  Once you get past that you can pick your favorite team and it’s off to the main menu.   

I got right to play now.  I choose the Colts.  As my opponent, the computer, I pick for him the cheating their way to three Super Bowls New England Patriots.  Mr. Brady, your ass-kicking awaits you sir.

As the game loads I see the matchup between the two teams.  It’s pretty much even except for the coaching area.  The Patriots have a full three bars while the Colts barely have one.  This immediately pisses me off because what you are telling me is that Caldwell, who has been with the Colts for a while, one of Dungy’s good guys is basically a bitch when it comes to coaching.  That seemed pretty insulting.

The game loads and the first clip you see are people walking into Lucas Oil Stadium.  They quickly go to the field and the announcers are saying words but nothing is registering.  I get to the coin toss.  The Patriots pick heads.  The coin flip comes up tails!  I will kick the ball to the Patriots.  This is important because I want the ball in the start of the second half.  At this point, I don’t know what EA Sports has done to the Pats and played it cautious.

As it turns out, EA Sports seemed to forget to factor into the equation that Tom Brady played for seven minutes last year.  He comes out throwing 50-yard bombs.  Good thing the Colts secondary is on it and its three and out for Brady and his cupcakes.

Peyton now takes the field on his own 20.  Handoff to Joseph Addai.  Addai runs up the middle for a 5-yard gain.  Nice.  I think it’s time to unleash Gonzales. 

Peyton under center, he looks to the left, he looks to the right and the ball is hiked.  Peyton goes back looks to the left, looks to the right and unleashes a bomb downfield.  Gonzales is open, and… Peyton under throws the ball and is INTERCEPTED! 

Huh?  Wait a second.  I had Peyton planted.  It was a perfect throw. 

Some light cursing and the defense is now coming onto the field to clean up my mistake pass.

Brady under center awaiting the snap and I’m going to waste no time.  I’m in control of Brackett and I’m sending him in for the kill.

Seems I was a little too aggressive early as Wes Welker takes the ball in a slant route and up the middle for 35-yards.

Then Brady unleashes a 36 yard pass to Randy Moss for a touchdown.

While all of this is happening, can I state how realistic the field, players and game play has been?  This is a decent graphics upgrade over Madden 09.

End of the first quarter:  New England  7 – Indianapolis 0.

I feel like I let the team down.

The second quarter begins with two three and outs by each team.  With 1:48 left in the second quarter Manning passes puts together an incredible drive down field with the highlights being a Reggie Wayne with a 25 yard slant route completion.  And, a Joseph Addai run up the middle for a 12 yard gain and BLAMO he’s down on the 3 yard line.  I mean injured down.  This is not good.  I’m not happy at all.

The game does a great thing here.  You get to make the call.  While Addai is injured, he is still able to play but… you risk the chance that he takes another hit and he then can be out for longer than what he originally will be if I sit him now.   I opt to sit out Addai and it’s time to start the rookie, Donald Brown.

I call a draw play; Brown takes the handoff and runs into the end zone.  

End of the first half:  Indianapolis 7 – New England  7.

The halftime stats show is tremendous.  They give you all the stats and show all the highlights of the first half.  Very nice EA Sports.

The third quarter starts off much like the second quarter.  Each team has three, three and outs and no more scoring by the end of the third quarter.

End of the third quarter:  Indianapolis 7 – New England  7.

At this point, I’m a little tense.  Brady is looking like a super model while Manning looks like John Blushi.  Who is programming these games?  I feel a graphic bias towards the Colts.  Yes the name of the team is after a horse must EA make the players on it look like them after three quarters of action?  I call bogus.

3:48 left in the fourth quarter and Brady completely owns the Colts corners.  I have no answers for New England’s potent passing attack until a 2nd and 5 on the Colts 25.  All out blitz.  Brady throws and Gary bracket tips the ball with his hands and the ball lands into Bob Sanders hands!  Gary Bracket is the man both in real life and digitally.  Kudos Gary Brackett.  Kudos to you, your family, and future generation of Brackett’s. 

Manning takes to the field.  3:40 seconds left and 70 yards separate the Colts from 7 points.  A masterful drive of handoff to Donald Brown, pass to Dallas Clark and pass to Austin Collie put the Colts at 3rd and 8.  One two yard gain and two incomplete passes places the team behind the 8 ball.  Then I get a notification that Addai is now back in the game after his slight strain on his left leg.  I waste no time.  Manning snaps the ball and a screen pass to Addai who runs for 9 yards!  FIRST DOWN!  Take that Patriots defense!

Manning in the shotgun position he gets the ball, looks left and then looks right when he throws the ball down field to Reggie Wayne for a first down on the 50 yard line!  FEEL THE COLTS OFFENSE WORKING ON ALL CYLANDERS!

Manning under center, he takes the snap and hands off to Addai.  Addai breaks the line, and fakes out the corner and HE HAS OPEN FIELD! ADDAI IS RUNNING AND IS FINALLY TAKEN DOWN AT THE 2-YARD LINE!  THE CROWD GOES WILD!

1:20 seconds left and the Patriots take their first time out.

I know what happens next.  We’ve seen this movie before.  I call Addai up the middle and he scores easily.  Way too easy. 

Fourth Quarter:  Indianapolis 14 – New England 7.

I just gave the New England patriots 1:19 seconds left and the ball on the kickoff.  I’m so unhappy right now. 

The ball is kicked off to the Patriots who run the ball back to the 35 yard line.

I line up with a very cautious protect the long ball defense. I’m not going to give up a big play.

Brady to Welker, the Patriots have the ball on the 50-yard line.

BOOOOOOOOOO!

Brady to Moss, the Patriots have the ball on the 38-yard line.

I hate you EA Sports.  Tom Brady is not Superman.  Dude could not walk for most of last year.  No one heals this good.

Brady in the shotgun passes to Moss… incomplete.  2nd down.

Hmmmm?

Brady in the shotgun, pass to Moss in the end zone… over threw the pass, incomplete. 3rd down.

Interesting.

Brady in the shotgun passes to Welker… incomplete due to Gary Brackett’s pressure on Brady.

YES!  GARY RULES!

4th down.  Brady in the shotgun gets the ball, the Colts defense swarm, Brady throws….. TIPPED BY GARY BRACKETT AND GARY BRACKETT WITH THE INTERCEPTION!!!! OH YEAH!!!!

2 seconds remain in the game.  Manning under center, takes the snap he downs the ball, game over.

Much improved game play, better announcing, smoother transitions between plays, bigger playbooks, a great use of product integration (The Snickers ads were a howl).  EA Sports has done a killer job of remaking the NFL experience.

This was my first time playing the game.  I didn’t have a fumble in the game but they have a fight for the fumble feature that is going to be great.  I can’t wait to check out a full season mode.

Don’t waste time people.  Get your copy of Madden 10 today.  When does the first roster update get released?

I LOVE YOU GARY BRACKETT!!!  For your mad digital football skills.  Seriously, what did you think I meant when I said that?